Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Childhood is one of the major aspect of life. it shapes how an individual is going to spend rest of their life. whatever we learn, see or experience during childhood, reflects in the later years of our lives. in my opinion, children should be allowed to make their own choices but within the considerations and limitations. in order to survive in this world and live in a civilized society, we ought to have a moral compass and follow some rules. the teachings that are taught in childhood shape, how a persons acts in a certain situation. Parents are obligated to show and teach their children morals, values, kindness and rights and wrongs of society in order for them to survive. However, a parent should also be considerate of their child's feelings. because feelings matter as much as values and rules, if not more. parents should try to teach and show them what is in their best interest, rather than forcing the decisions on them. it can impose a negative effect on their personality and create some negative feelings or traumas about the situation. when I was a kid, i did not particularly enjoyed drinking milk, i was in my growing stage and the doctor said i needed it. but i detested the taste. my dad once tried to make me drink, when i refused, he punished me. till this day, i cannot drink milk because i have some unsolved feelings towards the incident.in my opinion, if he told me the importance of it and how i needed it, i might have understood better. Hence, i don't completely agree with both view points as children should be taught to be considerate and kind but they should not be forced into liking things that does not suit their personalities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the potential for a 'society of individuals who only think about their own wishes' and the importance of autonomy, the discussion remains quite general. The personal anecdote about drinking milk is relevant but takes up a significant portion of the essay, which detracts from a more balanced exploration of the societal implications mentioned in the prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure that the arguments regarding societal impact are expanded with more depth and academic focus rather than relying heavily on personal narrative.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which is a significant issue for coherence. The entire response is presented as one block of text, making it difficult for the reader to follow the transition between the two opposing views and your own opinion. While you use some cohesive devices like 'However' and 'Hence', the overall logical progression is hindered by the lack of structural separation. To improve, you must organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs: one for the first view, one for the second, and one for your own opinion and conclusion. This will significantly improve the flow and readability of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use basic terms like 'major aspect', 'good', and 'bad' (implied). There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'unsolved feelings' (which should be 'unresolved feelings') and 'both view points' (which should be 'both viewpoints'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to child development and social psychology, such as 'autonomy', 'nurturing', 'authoritarian', or 'intrinsic motivation', and ensure your word choices are more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, particularly regarding punctuation and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper capitalization, such as 'it shapes how an individual is going to spend rest of their life' and 'because feelings matter as much as values and rules, if not more.' Additionally, there are subject-verb agreement issues, such as 'things that does not suit' (should be 'do not suit'). While your meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors limits your score. Focus on mastering basic sentence punctuation and ensuring subject-verb agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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