Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Few individuals think that permitting infants to build their own wishes on daily issues (like food ,clothes and entertainment) is probable to cause a change in a society of persons who only consider about their own desires. Remaining population suppose that it is crucial for kids to make their own conclusion abouts situations that influence them. In this essay i will both the sides and give my opinion.

Permitting the infants to make their own choices on the daily matters will make children independent and allow them to grow more like a stranger in the society than the other and build a social personality that can be more comfortable their own ideas and not care to wish about the ideas of the other persons in the society. And he will not be aware of the consiquences of making a wrong decision on matters he will think that his decisions are the best for his own interest.

On the other hand some individuals thought that allowing the kids to make their own decisions will cause them to be arogant and make them careless about the wishes of other and they will florish the idea of making decisions with the help of other advice and they will no longer care about the wishes ideas and respect of others and their elders how can give them a better piece of advice and make them feel more comfortable with their own decisions.

i also believe that people have to think not to make their kids totaly independent on them self and rather think of giving them advice on every matter.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument, but the development of ideas is limited and often confusing. The student attempts to discuss the negative consequences of autonomy, but the arguments are repetitive and lack clarity. For example, the claim that children will grow up like 'a stranger in the society' is unclear and does not logically support the prompt. The position is stated in the introduction but remains underdeveloped throughout the body paragraphs. To improve, the student needs to provide specific, logical examples and ensure that each paragraph clearly explains how the chosen point relates back to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is weak. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and sometimes incorrect way, such as the repetitive use of 'and' to connect long, run-on sentences. Referencing is often unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the subject 'he' is used without a clear antecedent. The transition between the two viewpoints is abrupt. To improve, the student should focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'however') and ensure that each sentence flows logically from the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, which occasionally impedes communication. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'build their own wishes' instead of 'make their own decisions' and 'florish the idea' instead of 'promote the idea'. The spelling is also inconsistent, with errors like 'consiquences', 'arogant', and 'totaly'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly. To reach a higher band, the student needs to focus on learning common collocations and improving spelling accuracy through consistent practice and reading.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent errors in basic grammar, including subject-verb agreement ('some individuals thought' instead of 'think'), article usage, and punctuation. For instance, the sentence 'how can give them a better piece of advice' is grammatically incorrect and confusing. The lack of control over sentence boundaries leads to run-on sentences that make the text difficult to follow. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly improve the clarity of the writing.

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