Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argued that, people who take the responsibility of their decisions they become mature and responsible. Due to which some individuals think that they should allowing children to make their own decisions on everyday matters which result in a society who only think about their own desires . While others believe that it is paramount for them to make decisions about matters that affect them. In this essay I will discuss both perspectives along with my own opinion in my upcoming writing paragraphs.
To begin with, there are some reasons why children make their own decisions? The first and foremost reason is selfishness. To be more precise, many children make their own choices on everyday matters such as choosing clothes ,food, entertainment. They also do not get advice from their parents how to behave in society due to that societal people think that they are irresponsible and immature. A survey which was conducted by The British broadcasting corporation 87% of children make their own decisions.
On the other hand, there are many reasons why it is pivotal for offspring to make decisions about matters that affect them . The first of all, they become independent .To elaborate it many decisions which younger generation make for them is beneficial for them because they become more responsible and mature . While making decisions give them more strength to take risk and to handle any situation . An article by The English Times corporation 8 out of 10 children become successful in their life.
To conclude, although making decisions by offerings has several benefits , But according to me if people never neglected the value of societal and parents advices then they become more responsible .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the task. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding selfishness and independence are stated but lack sufficient depth or logical expansion. For instance, the claim that 87% of children make their own decisions is presented without context or clear connection to the prompt's core debate. The conclusion is somewhat abrupt and does not fully synthesize the points discussed. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples that clearly illustrate how these choices impact a child's development or societal outcomes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'The first of all' and 'Due to which' are used incorrectly, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Additionally, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is somewhat abrupt. While there is a logical progression from the first view to the second, the internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak, making it difficult to follow the development of your argument. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the readability of your work.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms and occasionally use words incorrectly, such as 'offerings' to refer to children, which is inappropriate in this context. There are also some issues with word choice, such as 'societal people' instead of 'society' or 'members of society'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations. Avoid repeating the same words and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas more clearly and effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they should allowing children'), incorrect sentence fragments, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'people who take the responsibility of their decisions they become mature'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage will help you achieve a higher level of accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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