Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Decisions play a major role in one's life, affecting the outcomes of the desired future. This essay will discuss whether allowing children to make their own choices could have a negative impact on a society as a whole or it could turn beneficial for one's personal development. I believe children should have the power to make their own decisions.
Some people believe allowing children to make their own choices in everyday matters could have a negative impact on one's thinking growing up. For example, small decisions like the food they eat, clothes they wear and the media content they consume. This could likely result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. One of the factors behind this thought is, when a child having a habit of doing everything of their choice grows up, they expects people to work according to them. For example, going to a restaurant, selecting a movie, makes it difficult to carry forward a plan when including people within. It makes a person selfish, where they just want to fulfill their own wishes and are no more considerate of others' feelings.
However, there are people who believe that making decisions since childhood can make a person confident and self-reliant growing up. It helps in developing cognitive thinking, knowing the consequences and finding out the solutions on their own. It could become a major factor in shaping one's personality in future.
I believe children should have the right to make decisions as it helps in generating opinions and thoughts. It becomes crucial factor when it directly affects their life, whether be it mentally or physically.
In conclusion, individuals do have the right to take their own decisions, so why not children. power to make decisions from childhood does affect one's thought process.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the negative perspective is supported with a clear example regarding social interaction, the positive perspective is less developed, relying on general statements like 'developing cognitive thinking' without specific examples or deeper analysis. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your arguments with more detailed explanations or concrete scenarios. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the points discussed, which limits the overall depth of the response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For example', 'However', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more sophisticated. For instance, the transition between the second and third paragraphs is abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are slightly disjointed, such as 'One of the factors behind this thought is, when a child having a habit...'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cognitive thinking', 'self-reliant', and 'considerate'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and there are instances of slightly unnatural phrasing, such as 'carry forward a plan' or 'no more considerate'. There is also a minor error in word choice: 'It becomes crucial factor' should be 'It becomes a crucial factor'. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express your ideas with greater nuance and sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'when a child having a habit... they expects' contains subject-verb agreement errors. There are also punctuation issues, such as missing articles ('a' or 'the') and awkward phrasing in the final paragraph ('power to make decisions... does affect'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and consistent use of articles will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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