Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Yes, I agree to some extent with the point of view that allowing children to make their own choices on daily activities including food, clothes as well as entertainment will make them selfish and in future society will only have that people who just think of theirselves. In this essay I will discuss both point of view in detail and justify my point of view through examples.
Firstly, if parents allow their children to choose their clothes, food and entertainment from very early age it will make them arrogant and selfish. Parents should be very strict to their child from very early age and don't allow them to make decisions when their parents
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, reaching only 113 words. Consequently, the task is not fully addressed, and the development of ideas is severely limited. While you introduce both sides of the argument, the essay stops abruptly mid-sentence, leaving the discussion incomplete. To improve, you must ensure you provide a full, balanced discussion of both perspectives and a clear conclusion, while meeting the minimum length requirement. Currently, the lack of development and the incomplete nature of the response prevent it from meeting the criteria for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is too short to demonstrate effective paragraphing or a logical progression of ideas. While you use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'In this essay', the abrupt ending makes it impossible to assess the overall structure or the flow of the argument. To achieve a higher score, you need to organize your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence, and use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your arguments and examples logically throughout the entire response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, such as the repeated use of 'choices', 'decisions', and 'early age'. There are also errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'that people who just think of theirselves' (should be 'those people who only think of themselves'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the sophistication of your writing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains several grammatical errors, including 'I agree to some extent with the point of view' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'don't allow them to make decisions when their parents' (an incomplete sentence). The range of grammatical structures is limited, relying mostly on simple or compound sentences. There are also issues with pronoun usage, such as 'theirselves' instead of 'themselves'. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring subject-verb agreement, as well as proofreading for basic errors in tense and word choice.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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