Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Undoubtedly, in this era every individual have their own choice due to their own preferences. Apart of society believes that allowing childrens to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individualswho always think about their own wishes. while , others argue that it is crucial for children to make decisions about matters that affect them . This essay will discuss both views in the upcoming paragraphs.
Going with first school of thought which deems that allowing offsprings to make own decisions because they learn about responsibility. To explicate it, if parents give the right to their wards to make decisions as per their own choices so it would help them to learn about the responsibility of tasks and can build the ability to complete the activity with lot off efforts. As a result , children would become a responsible person , and donot avoid the difficult tasks in their whole life ,even they would like to complete it with more efforts.Beside this the second reason is that, children would get the proper satisfaction in their life . To explain it , if a child want to do anythings with ownself , and their parts not aloud them to do such things , so it would makes directly impact on their mind . However, if children do things which they like and with own choices for instance (fooding , clothing,and entertainment) it would provide them better satisfaction level rather than their parents decisions for them.
Therefore, a child can enjoy everthing with not only satisfaction but also with inner peace.
However, other people believe that it is crucial for children to make decisions only about matters that affect them . The major reason behind such argument is that , children parents knows about their child weekneeses and strenghts , and they are more capable to make decision for their wards
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both views mentioned in the prompt, but the development is uneven. While you attempt to discuss the benefits of children making choices, the second perspective—that children might become self-centered or that parents are better decision-makers—is significantly under-developed. The essay ends abruptly, failing to provide a clear conclusion or a fully articulated personal opinion as requested by the prompt. To improve, ensure that each viewpoint is given equal weight and that your own position is clearly stated and consistently supported throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression is hindered by frequent errors in cohesive devices and sentence structure. Transitions such as 'Going with first school of thought' and 'Beside this' are used awkwardly, and the punctuation around these connectors is often incorrect. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. To improve, focus on using standard linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Conversely', 'In conclusion') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to the prompt.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'fooding', 'parts not aloud them', and 'offsprings' (which is often used incorrectly in this context). While the meaning is usually clear, the range of vocabulary is not sufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more academic collocations and avoid informal phrasing. Focus on learning the correct forms of words, such as 'allow' instead of 'aloud' and 'strengths' instead of 'strenghts'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('every individual have', 'parents knows'), incorrect pluralisation ('childrens'), and awkward sentence construction. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent, particularly with commas and spaces. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries. Proofreading for common errors like 'donot' (should be 'do not') and ensuring proper spacing after punctuation marks will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
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