Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are born through their parents but they do not belong to them. Controlling parents may raise a dependent child.Initially, when a child is not mature enough to take decisions, taking decisions for them is right. But as a child grows, peeking into their personal lives can destroy their privacy.

When an individual takes everyday small decisions for themselves it actually makes them more aware of the needs of others and definitely it does not make them selfish. Having freedom of choosing is what makes a person more responsible and reliable.

At the end of the day, it is you and your life that matters. If you cannot live your life to the fullest how will you be able to serve or have sympathy for others.

This reminds me of an observation that i made among the children with normal parents and the ones with controlling parents. The children with normal parents who took decision for themselves all their life were more responsible, social and independent. On the contrary, the ones with controlling parents were dependent, anxious and non responsive.

The overall idea concludes as, children must be allowed to take small everyday decisions of their life. It maybe whether should i have tea or coffee?, Should I go out with my friends tomorrow morning?. Decision making is a crucial skill that inculcates in a child from these small acts of freedom which when restricted just for the sake of hypothetical " what if” questions can raise a weak dependent indivisual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that controlling parents raise dependent children, the explanation lacks depth and specific examples. The points regarding 'sympathy for others' and the observation of children are relevant but could be expanded to better support the argument. The conclusion is clear, but the overall essay feels slightly rushed, preventing a more thorough exploration of the potential negative consequences of total autonomy, which was part of the prompt. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a more detailed analysis of the implications of the views presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the contrary' and 'Initially', which help link your thoughts. However, the transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is occasionally mechanical. For instance, the paragraphing is a bit fragmented, with some very short sentences that disrupt the flow. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences are connected more fluidly to create a more cohesive argument throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'inculcates', 'hypothetical', and 'autonomous' (implied). However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'peeking into their personal lives' and 'non responsive'. The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and avoid informal phrasing. Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to child development and social psychology would also be beneficial for achieving a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'Children are born through their parents', 'Having freedom of choosing', and punctuation issues like the misplaced question mark in 'tea or coffee?,'. There are also minor errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and try to vary your sentence structures with more complex, error-free constructions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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