Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The question of whether people should be allowed to have children, to give them the freedom to make their own decisions, is a common topic of debate. Some people believe that giving children the freedom to choose everything for themselves helps them develop the habit of selfishness and leads them to lead society. Individuals can work on their own desires. Others believe that allowing children to make decisions in everyday life helps them improve their personal development of growth. In this essay, we will discuss the two views and explain why I believe in the opportunity to give children the chance to make decisions in everyday life within limits.
On the one hand, those who believe that giving children the freedom to make their own choices in daily life matters. When it is allowed to children to do everything for himself develop the habit of prioritizing selfishness were not consider the needs of others. For example, children are likely to eat unhealthy food without the necessary nutrients and spend all their time on entertainment rather than studying. These habits have proven that the choice of freedom for children is not beneficial.
On the other hand, supporters of decision-making said that these habits are very important for children. When to allow children to make decisions about matters that affect them, such as eating, clothing, and many other matters that are related to them. It helps them to improve the skills of decision making.
In my opinion, children making decisions about the matters that affect them is beneficial for them, but within limits, because children may make poor decisions.
In conclusion, children will make decisions about the matters that affect them; it is beneficial for adults, but it is the parents' responsibility to guide them.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments provided are somewhat repetitive and lack depth or specific, well-explained examples. For instance, the point about children eating unhealthy food is a good start but is not fully explored to explain how this impacts their long-term development or societal contribution. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments remain at a surface level, preventing the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure each body paragraph provides a clear topic sentence followed by a detailed explanation and a concrete example.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'When it is allowed to children to do everything for himself' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the logical progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by these structural issues. While the essay is coherent enough to be understood, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the repetitive nature of the sentence structures limit the effectiveness of the overall organisation.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. The student relies on basic terms like 'good', 'important', and 'matters', which are repeated frequently. There are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'develop the habit of selfishness' and 'leads them to lead society', which sound unnatural. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary. The current range is sufficient to communicate the main points, but it does not demonstrate the flexibility or sophistication expected at a higher level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'When it is allowed to children to do everything for himself' (incorrect passive voice and pronoun agreement) and 'When to allow children to make decisions' (incorrect infinitive usage). Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are also inconsistent throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic sentence construction prevents the essay from achieving a higher score. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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