Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Few individual thought that giving permission to children to build their own choices everyday matters to build a society where only that type of peoples lives. While others thought it is significant for children to make decisions about the matters that affects them. In this essay I will discuss both sides and give my own option with reason and example.
Initially, Some people thought that if children makes their own choices everyday matters. These people are right that if children lives their live in their own way it makes him feel more confidence and creative as like if they get the food they like everyday they well more delighted everyday and focus more. If they wear clothes they like it make them more confident. And the result can be a society where only that type of children lives. But if there is no limit on children they can be more disrespectful.
On other hand the people how thought that it is important for children to make decision about things that affect them. These type of children have low confidence and more streesful because they did not get the freedom They have to. However these children are less creative and smart than others. These children feel poor. But they have good manners.
In my opinion the child who have permission to make their own choice will be more successful. For instance I am that type of person who have the opportunities to make my own decisions and now I am a busniess men. When I wear clothes of my choice it feel me more energetic and I am looking good in that clothes while my friend who not have to make their own decisions when he wear clothes everyone thought he is poor and a thief because the pants not matching with his shirt. Although many children who have no limit but they involves in crimes. So the children have to make their own choice but in a limit.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The arguments regarding the negative impact of autonomy are somewhat confusing, particularly the claim that children who make their own decisions feel 'poor' or 'less creative'. The supporting example in the final paragraph is anecdotal and lacks the necessary depth to fully support the argument. While the prompt is addressed, the reasoning is often simplistic and lacks the logical extension required for a higher band. To improve, focus on providing more nuanced explanations for why autonomy might lead to selfishness or, conversely, how it fosters independence.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'On other hand' is grammatically incorrect, and the use of 'However' in the third paragraph does not logically connect the preceding and following ideas. The referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult to determine exactly which group of children the author is referring to in certain sentences. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors that impede clarity, such as 'streessful' (stressful), 'busniess men' (businessman), and 'it feel me more energetic' (it makes me feel more energetic). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. The student relies on basic adjectives and nouns, and there is a lack of awareness regarding collocations. To progress, the student should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to child development and social behaviour, and practice using these words in correct grammatical contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often hinder communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children makes', 'people how thought'), tense usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, and the misuse of articles and prepositions is common. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are almost always faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. The student needs to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
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