Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Youngster's choices for everyday shopping is most common thing now a days. Some individuals are supporting to leave their own wish of things on their individual hands. Upon some others are arguing that children taking decisions about matters that affect them. This essay will discuss both perspectives, before explain why balanced approach is most effective.
On the one hand, Some people often allowing their children to take their own choices upon shopping things. Such as Food, clothes and entertainment without their parents involvement. Leaving their own opinion on this to their kids is often improve individual thinking to choose right one for their self, which is most important for life and it directly boost youngster's choice of interests. Such as shopping things, sports, higher academic goals and entertainment.
On the other hand, people are often arguing that children decisions are matter and how important it is for their career. Making bad decisions could definitely leads their future in a wrong direction to get them into a right track and to be most successful in life parents involvement plays a major role in it. However, making own choices for their personnel things is permitted, if it comes to future they can take some worst without knowledge. It could affect them in their career perspective. For example, Career options, Opportunity selection and academic goals.
In conclusion, making own choices for personnel things are often important and also parents involvement towards a life changing decisions they should consider parents before taking step. Finally, if it can be balanced correctly it could be the most effective.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both views and provides a clear personal opinion, which is a requirement for this task. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that children making their own choices can boost their interests, the explanation remains superficial. Similarly, the argument regarding parental involvement in career choices is repetitive and lacks specific, well-developed examples. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a clear, logical progression of ideas supported by concrete reasoning rather than just stating the points. The conclusion is present but could be more effectively linked to the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Upon some others are arguing' is grammatically incorrect and does not function well as a transition. Additionally, some sentences are disjointed, such as 'Such as Food, clothes and entertainment without their parents involvement,' which is a sentence fragment. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'consequently,' 'furthermore,' 'in contrast') more naturally and ensure that each sentence is complete and logically connected to the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'personnel things' (likely meaning 'personal') and 'take some worst' (which is unclear). The range is somewhat limited, relying on basic phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to child development and decision-making. Avoid repeating the same words (like 'choices' or 'decisions') and aim for more sophisticated collocations to demonstrate a better command of English vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('children decisions are matter'), incorrect preposition usage, and sentence fragments. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate, such as 'Making bad decisions could definitely leads their future.' The punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of capital letters mid-sentence. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb tense consistency.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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