Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
IN PRECENT TIME, MANY PEOPLE ARE BELIVE THAT CHLIDREN SHOULD FOLLOEW ONLY THAT INSTUCTED BY THEM SUCH AS FOOD, CLOTHES. AND OTHERS THINGS. ALTHOUGH, OTHERS INDIVIDUALS ARE BELEVIE THAT MAKE DECISIONS BY THE CHILDERN AFFECT MORE IN THE LIFELONG. THIS ESSAY WILL EXPLAIN BOTH SIDE WITH RELEVENT EXAMPLE WTHIN MY OPINION.
TO ELABROTE FIRST SIDE,ALL PRESENT ARE VERY WOORIED ABOUT THEIR CHILD FUTHURE. MEANWHILE, MANY FAMILY MEMBERS WANT TO MONITERING THEIR CHILD'S ACTIVITIES WITHIN OR WITHOUT THEIR PRESENET.MOREOVER, THEY WANT TO IMPROVE OF THEIR KIDS LIFE STYLE AND HABBITS BEACAUSE NO ONE COMES TO TAKE RESPOSIBITY ABOUT THEIR CHILD. FOR EXAMPLE, IF CHILDERN GO FOR EAT UNHEALTHY FOOD, IT WILL BE GAVE THEM HEATH ISSUES. TO ADD TO IN, IF PARENTS WILL NO EXPLAIN THE VALUE OF MONEY,THEIR CHILDERN WASTE MONEY ON ENTERTAINMENT SUCH AS GAMING, CLUBE, ETC, WHICH ARE NON BENEFICIAL THINGS.THESE ALL TYPE OF MANNER AND HABITS CAN ONLY CHANGE BY THE UNDER THE OBSERVATION OF PARENTS.
ON THE OTHER SIDE, MANY INDIVIDUALS ARE GIVE FREEDUM TO THEIR CHILDREN TO MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT THE MATTERS OF WEARING CLOTHES,EATING FOODS AND SPENDING IN ENTERTAINMENTS. THEY BELEVIE THAT TAKING DECISION BY THE CHILDREN IS THE GIVING PERSONAL SPACE TO CHILDREN, WHICH IS DEVELOPE ETHICAL VALUE IN RELATION BETWEEN PARENTS AND CHILDREN. MOREOVER, MAKE SELF DECISIONS BOOST CHILDREN'S SELF CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM POWER.FOR INSTANCE, MANY CHILDREN CAN CHOOSE WHATEVER FEILD WHAT THEY WANT TO STUDY FOR FURTHER BY THE HELP SELF CONFIDENCE AND SELF-ESTEEM.
TO CONCLUDE THE DESCUTION AND GLANCE AT OPINION, AS PER PARENTS CONCERN GIVE ORDER OR CONTROLL THE CHILDREN THINGS NOT A STOP CHILDERN GROWTH BUT IT CAN BE MAKE SAFEST SIDE BY PARENT TO STOP GOING TO DISTRACT WHILE, GIVE POWER TO MAKING DECISION IS THE POSITIVE SIDE WITH LIMITATION.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding parental control focuses heavily on health and money without exploring the broader societal implications mentioned in the prompt. The conclusion is also quite vague and difficult to follow due to grammatical issues, which obscures the clarity of your final position. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-explained point supported by a clear example, and ensure your conclusion clearly restates your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To add to in' or 'To conclude the descution'. There are also instances where the flow between sentences is disjointed, particularly in the final paragraph where the meaning becomes unclear. While there is an attempt to use transition words, they are often misused or placed awkwardly. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking words will help your ideas flow more naturally.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'BELIVE', 'CHLIDREN', 'FUTHURE', 'DESCUTION'). You rely on basic words and struggle to use more sophisticated or precise language. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors and the lack of variety in word choice prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on learning the correct spelling of common academic words and try to incorporate synonyms to avoid repeating the same terms throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many people are belive'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper syntax, such as 'As per parents concern give order or controll the children things not a stop childern growth'. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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