Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
While some people argue that own decisions which are taken by the children affect the society in which the people will think about themselves. Whereas, the others contradict this argument and trust their children in making their own choices. This essay will discuss both the opinions before presenting my own.
It is true to a few individuals that the choices made by their children will shape their future. They think this way because when the kids are given the freedom of choice, they tend to utilize their brains effectively and efficiently. For instance, a mother would agree that if a child does his or her own laundry, then it will be helpful for them in the future when they move away from home.
In contrast, some parents argue that if the children are left freely to make decisions on their own this can adversely affect the development of the child. Meanwhile, this can also lead to a egoistic behavior in children. Furthermore, they can be developed into a person without empathy. To give you an example, a young student who is left behind to take his own decisions regarding studies may think that it is not important and this may result in the him failing the subject and spoiling his future.
Therefore, this essay summarizes the differences of opinions among the individuals regarding the freedom of choices among their children. I completely agree with the fact that children should be given some freedom to make their own decisions regarding daily activities. Consequently, this will also help a child to shape his future in a fruitful way.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph focuses on the benefits of decision-making but uses an example (laundry) that is slightly tangential to the prompt's focus on 'everyday matters' like food or entertainment. The second body paragraph discusses the negative implications of autonomy, such as egoism, but the example regarding academic failure is not fully linked back to the core argument about societal impact. To improve, ensure that each point directly supports the prompt's specific concern regarding the development of self-centered individuals versus independent thinkers.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'It is true to a few individuals' is unnatural, and the use of 'Meanwhile' in the second body paragraph does not effectively link the ideas. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the opening sentence where the subject of the argument is muddled. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would help the flow of ideas become more sophisticated and less repetitive.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'own decisions which are taken by the children' and 'egoistic behavior'. The phrase 'left behind to take his own decisions' is also non-standard. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary, the range is limited, and there is a reliance on basic phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more academic collocations and precise terminology related to child development and societal values.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'the choices made by their children will shape their future' (where the subject-verb agreement or logic is slightly off) and 'result in the him failing'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on sentence construction and proofreading for minor grammatical slips would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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