Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few individuals trust that agree children to produce their own select on daily matters (such as food , clothes and entertainment ) is likely to result in a society of human who only think about their own wishes .Other persons believe that it is major for children to make settlement to make decisions about matters that influence them. Descision is most important in my life .

There are various reasons why some people might be against a permissive upbringing. Firstly, they might assert that granting children unrestricted choices in everyday matters might lead to their inflated sense of entitlement, thereby fostering egocentric individuals. Secondly, they might argue that by permitting children to choose whatever they like, they cannot confront undesired aspects of life at an early age and thus might not become prepared for adulthood. Finally, without parental oversight of children’s choices, they are liable to indulge in inappropriate forms of entertainment and activities. For example, most children have a strong desire for sweets and, without restrictions, are likely to over-indulge and develop serious health issues.

Despite these arguments, I believe it is essential to give children freedom in making decisions. Primarily, when children are accountable for their choices, they are more likely to develop a sense of maturity and ownership at a young age, fostering an independent character. Moreover, it is important for young children to learn from their mistakes, and by restricting their choices, they may never learn to hold themselves accountable. Conversely, overly restrictive environments often produce overly dependent individuals who are unable to make decisions without external guidance and validation.

In the conclusion, while both view points have some people believe that allowing reasonable arguments. I strongly believe that permitting children to prepared the adulthood. because it creates a sense of maturity and the restrictive environment for dependent individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly in the body paragraphs where you discuss the benefits of autonomy versus the risks of a permissive upbringing. However, the introduction is significantly weakened by poor phrasing and grammatical errors, such as 'trust that agree children to produce their own select', which makes the opening confusing. While the main body paragraphs are coherent and address the prompt effectively, the conclusion is disjointed and contains fragmented sentences that fail to clearly summarize the main points. To improve, ensure your introduction clearly paraphrases the prompt without awkward phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'Conversely'. However, the cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the final paragraph is poorly constructed, making the transition to the conclusion abrupt and confusing. The sentence 'In the conclusion, while both view points have some people believe that allowing reasonable arguments' is syntactically broken, which disrupts the flow of the final summary. Improving the transition between sentences and ensuring that your concluding paragraph is grammatically sound will help elevate your score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'permissive upbringing', 'unrestricted choices', 'egocentric', and 'accountable'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'produce their own select' instead of 'make their own choices' and 'make settlement' instead of 'make decisions'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used in the correct grammatical context. Expanding your range of academic synonyms will also help you express your ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'agree children to produce their own select', 'society of human', and 'permitting children to prepared the adulthood'. These errors, particularly in the introduction and conclusion, are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning difficult to grasp. While you attempt complex sentences, the lack of control over verb forms and word order limits your score. You need to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of infinitive versus past participle forms to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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