Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, freedom of children has become a subject of considerable debate. While some individuals believe that giving freedom to childrem may make them self-centered, others argue that allowing children to make their decisions will improve their development. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my own opinion.
One argument in favour of this perspective is that childrens are not allowed to take their own decisicions. If child gets free will then there are chances that they become self-centered and do not values other opinions, mostly parents. This may make negative impact on their personality also. One instance that examplifies this is that children who gets too much freedom will only think about their own preferences and they will not obey orders of someone older then them.
On the other hand, many individuals supports other point of view that childrens are allowed to make their choose their personal preferences like what to eat, what to wear and what to watch, in result of this they will be more responsible and it will improve their over all well-being. This will improve their decision making ability and how to react in certain circumstances. Which will contribute in their development of the adulhood. For instance, if children is allowed to make their decision they will not be dependent on anybody to take their decision.
To conclude with, although unrestricted choices can lead to selfish behaviour, i personally believe that balnce should be maintained between both. Allowing children to make their own choices will develop their sense of taking decision and not rely on others.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding children becoming self-centered is repetitive and lacks a nuanced explanation of why this occurs. Similarly, the benefits of decision-making are mentioned but not fully explored with concrete, real-world examples. While the task is addressed, the supporting points remain at a surface level, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points by explaining the 'why' and 'how' more thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'To conclude with', to signal shifts in the argument. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'In result of this' and 'Which will contribute in their development'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'this perspective' in the second paragraph, which does not clearly link back to the preceding sentence. Improving the variety and natural flow of your linking words will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'self-centered', 'preferences', and 'well-being'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'freedom of children' (should be 'children's freedom') and 'obey orders of someone older then them' (should be 'than'). There is also a lack of less common or sophisticated vocabulary, which limits the range. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'childrens are', 'child gets'), article usage (e.g., 'in result of this'), and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'decisicions', 'adulhood'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, you should pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, particularly pluralization and the use of articles. Increasing your control over complex sentence structures will also help you demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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