Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people are of the opinion that allowing children make decision on daily issues, like their meals, outfits, and television shows will result in a society of people who only think about themselves. Other people are of the opinion that it is necessary for children to make their own decision on matters that affect them. Children should be allowed to make their own choices as it builds their confidence. This can also be a problem as many children as selfish and only think of themselves.

Allowing children make decision should be encouraged as it helps them build their confidence and have opinions on the things happening around them. How is confidences built in children? A child's confidence is built by allowing the child face challenges, mould quite behaviour and speaking up. Little things like the food the child would take to school helps them speak up, it also helps the parents understand what is on the child’s mind and what needs to be corrected. Speaking up also helps build opinion which may also affect the society at large. A person without an opinion takes thing thrown at him, he has no say, no opinion, as everything is fine by him, such as person may be come a problem to the society as that kind of people cannot call out the government and may even be bullied at school. Few days ago, the news reported a case of bulling in a secondary school in Benin, where an eleven years old girl was beaten by her classmates over a boy that liked her. During her interview, she was asked whether it had happened before and she answered in the positive and what she did about it and she said she was fine with it.

On the other hand, self centred children are most times over opinionated and at the slightest inconveniences complain without thinking of how it affects others. They grow up thinking only about themselves, with no sense of community or togetherness. This type of people almost always ends up as bullies. Research from the University of Benin shows that most selfish people have not sense of community.

I think that children should be allowed to make their own decision on little things that affect them, but maybe not always. Parents have a role to play by properly helping their children in areas they need help. Once a parent notices selfishness or entitlement privileges should be taken away from that child.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear personal opinion. Your ideas are relevant, particularly the argument regarding confidence-building. However, the development of the counter-argument regarding selfishness is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. While you provide an example from a news report, the connection between the example and the broader societal impact could be more explicitly linked to the prompt's focus on 'everyday choices.' To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are fully extended and that your conclusion directly synthesizes the points raised in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion' (implied), to link your thoughts. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'also' and 'helps.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, in the second paragraph, the transition between the benefits of decision-making and the example of bullying is somewhat abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'self-centred,' 'entitlement,' and 'inconveniences.' However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'mould quite behaviour' (likely meaning 'cultivate quiet behavior') and 'takes thing thrown at him.' Some collocations are also imprecise, such as 'answered in the positive.' While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, you need to use less common lexical items with greater precision and accuracy to move into the higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Common issues include missing articles (e.g., 'as selfish'), subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'many children as selfish'), and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'allowing children make decision' instead of 'allowing children to make decisions'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While your meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, especially verb patterns and article usage.

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