Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Nowadays children making their own choices is a growing concern among the people across the world.

I believed that individuals obey that allowing youngsters to make their own selection on there daily bases like food,clothes and entertainment is likely to output in the colony of people who only think about their wishes ,similarly other human beings believe that its importance for children to make decision about matters affect them

In this essay,I will specify my rational viewpoint from my perspective to justify the topic prominently.

In my opinion,Although children make their own choices explore their fravoite and selections and the making of the decision from the children is important which could effect them in the future.

on the one hand, undoubtedly youngsters prepare their self choices explore their fravoite and random selection

as children make there own choices will help the to explore their ideas and colours and their requirments

for example,according to the recent survey conducted by the Western Sydney University which clearly states that nearly 43% of countries of the world has experienced that selection of their choice matter in the daily lifestyles.

on the other hand, Indeed preparing their own choice of children is crucial which would impact them in the upcoming years

since the option of the students are the very import to know wt there are going to select by which they cant get effect their life.

For instance, according the latest research carried out by the United States of Central University which vividly reveals that around 55% of the nation in the world has experienced that

To Sum up, the choices of the children matter in daily life which result to their society similarly individuals believe major role of children to chose the choice which can affect them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to address both sides of the argument, but the ideas are significantly underdeveloped and often unclear. While you mention the two viewpoints, the supporting arguments lack logical depth and fail to provide coherent reasoning. For example, the reference to 'Western Sydney University' and 'United States of Central University' appears to be a generic attempt to provide evidence without actually linking the statistics to the argument in a meaningful way. The conclusion is also incomplete and fails to clearly restate your position. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on one clear idea supported by a logical explanation and a relevant, specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a logical flow. While you use some transition signals like 'on the one hand' and 'in conclusion', the connections between sentences are often strained or confusing. The paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs is weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Referencing is frequently unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the sentence structure breaks down entirely. To improve, focus on using cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'output in the colony of people' instead of 'result in a society' and 'prepare their self choices'. Some words are misspelled, such as 'fravoite' and 'requirments'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to convey precise meaning, and the reliance on basic, often misused, terminology prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on learning common collocations and practicing the correct spelling of academic vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments, and incorrect word order (e.g., 'I believed that individuals obey that allowing...'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many missing spaces after commas and periods. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences that are often poorly constructed. To improve, you need to focus on the basics of sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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