Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

amany individuals think that giving permission to children to decide and make choices on daily activities for instance (food, clothes and entertainment) make them self centered and selfish and they will only think about their desires, while some people also think that children should make their life choices on their own as these matters impact on their life. In this essay i will discuss both views and will also give my own opinion.

On the one hand, several individuals believe that if parents allowed kids to choose whatever they want it can make them to only think about them. furthermore, children usually likes to eat fast food which is not very good for their health and is also more expensive as compare to home cooked food. Sometimes children demands clothes which are not worth the money but parents have to buy them because they like those clothes. Moreover, kids often into high budget gadgets like smartphones video games for entertainment without thinking that whether their parents afford that or not.

On the other hand, many people think that children should make their life choices because it makes them more confident and they do not consider themselves unprivileged. For instance, if they do not get the food they like the most it often make kids greedy. Every kid wants to look good and stylish and its their right to wear whatever they want. when I was a kid I eagerly wants to wear a skirt but my parents did not allow me to wear, and when i saw my cousin wearing that skirt it made me jealous of her, therefore unnecessary restrictions developed feeling of envoy in children.

To conclude, we can say that parents should fulfil the wishes of children that they can easily managed to make them happy and contend, but at the same time teach them the value of money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding children becoming 'selfish' is supported by examples like fast food and gadgets, but the analysis remains superficial. The personal anecdote in the second body paragraph is relevant but takes up space that could have been used to further explore the broader societal implications of the prompt. The conclusion is a bit abrupt and does not fully synthesize the two views discussed. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is expanded with more depth and that the conclusion provides a more comprehensive summary of the arguments presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Moreover', but some are used mechanically or incorrectly (e.g., 'furthermore' starting a sentence with a lowercase letter). The progression of ideas is generally logical, though the transition between the personal anecdote and the concluding argument is slightly disjointed. Referencing is mostly clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that punctuation does not disrupt the logical progression of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward word choice or non-standard collocations, such as 'make them to only think about them' instead of 'encourage self-centeredness' and 'developed feeling of envoy' (likely meaning 'envy'). While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'unprivileged' and 'restrictions', the overall range is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical context to convey meaning more precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children usually likes', 'it often make kids'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'eagerly wants to wear'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and capitalization. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would significantly enhance the quality of the writing.

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