Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
This situation is basically about the freedom of children to make their own choices in many aspects of life. This freedom effects the children life a lot. we are here to compare the people believes which are opposite to each other. Some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on every matter is essential but some people don't think the same.
some people think that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters like choosing food, clothes and entertainment is essential for their decision making in future. This may boost their confidence and make them energetic and more strong to face the tough situations in future life. The way of choosing clothes, food and other things which are important to them and it generates the sense of observing things.
But some people don't agree with it. They think that allowing children to make decisions by themselves make them selfish and an individuals who think about their own wishes and fruits. In as much as their fear is right at one point when children feels free to do anything and they don't cares about the other feelings and ambitions.
In my point of view , granted permission to children to make their own choices on everyday matter is essential for them. It make them more confident in compare to those children who are not allowed to discuss about their feelings and selections. This thing make them less confident and lost their decision making ability. So, I preferred to allow children to make theirs decisions themselves to boost creativity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that allowing choices boosts confidence, the explanation remains superficial and lacks specific examples or deeper analysis. The counter-argument regarding selfishness is also briefly stated without sufficient elaboration. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your points by explaining the 'why' and 'how' more thoroughly, perhaps by providing a concrete scenario or a more detailed consequence for each perspective. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments need more depth to fully meet the requirements of a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite basic and sometimes repetitive. For instance, you frequently start sentences with 'some people' or 'this'. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. While the progression of ideas is logical, the transitions between the opposing views and your own opinion could be smoother. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices—such as using 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'conversely'—would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher score. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'make their own choices' and 'everyday matters'. There are also some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'fruits' in the context of 'wishes and fruits', which is not a standard collocation. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary and collocations related to child development and autonomy. Using more precise synonyms will help you express your ideas with greater clarity and sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'this freedom effects the children life'), missing articles, and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'granted permission to children' instead of 'granting permission'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound, particularly when attempting more complex constructions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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