Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that the some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. which has always been debatable and has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. From my perspective, the former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the positive or negative impact of this trend and thus will lead to a logical conclusion.

Analyzing the statement further, the primary reason behind this is that this issue is due to mass illiteracy, ignorance and non-availability of basic necessities of life. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind this is that especially in our country, it has far-reaching consequences. these projects require huge amounts of money and are usually expensive for passengers. Moreover, people living in smaller cities may not receive much benefit from these railway lines.

Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that it is the basic duty of the government to provide a safe and stable society for the betterment of the public. It is imperative for the authorities concerned to look into the factor behind this issue and take drastic action against the concerned persons.

To encapsulate, I would like to appeal to the learned figures to come forward, focus their gaze on this issue and launch a vigorous campaign to reform it across the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to discuss the prompt's topic regarding children making their own choices, but the body paragraphs quickly veer completely off-topic into discussing railway projects, mass illiteracy, and government duties regarding public safety. This indicates a heavy reliance on a memorized template or an entirely unrelated essay prompt. The student states their position in the introduction, but the actual body paragraphs fail to develop or support the views outlined in the prompt. According to the Band 4 descriptors, the response is largely tangential to the task set, resulting in a low score for task achievement. The prompt asks to discuss both views on children's decision-making and give an opinion, yet none of the body paragraphs address food, clothes, or children's autonomy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the organizational flow breaks down completely between the introduction and the body paragraphs due to the severe content shift. While transitional phrases are used such as 'Moving further' and 'To encapsulate', they cannot salvage a logical progression when the body paragraphs introduce entirely irrelevant concepts like railway lines and government intervention in infrastructure. There is a lack of clear referencing, and the overall structure feels disjointed and mechanical. This aligns with Band 4, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently, and the progression fails to make logical sense in relation to the task prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary deployed in the introduction shows some attempt at appropriate academic phrasing, such as 'controversial', 'beneficial', and 'rational'. However, the body paragraphs introduce irrelevant prefabricated chunks and topic-specific vocabulary related to transportation and governance—such as 'mass illiteracy', 'basic necessities', 'railway lines', and 'vigorous campaign'—which are completely out of context for the topic of child-rearing. While some words are spelled correctly, the lexical choice is severely compromised by the off-topic nature of the content. This performance sits at Band 5, where the vocabulary is minimally adequate for the few coherent sentences, but misuse and irrelevance cause noticeable difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as 'As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that the some people believe...' and 'This essay will further elaborate my views...'. However, there are notable grammatical errors and awkward phrasing throughout, such as the double article in 'the some people' and capitalization errors like starting a sentence with 'these projects' after a comma. Complex structures are often faulty. Despite these frequent errors, the basic meaning of individual sentences can generally be parsed, fitting the Band 5 descriptors where a limited range of structures is used and frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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