Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
IN THIS MODERN WORLD, MANY PERSON BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN SHOULD HAVE TO RIGHT TO TAKE THIER OWN DECISION OF THEIR DAILY LIFE ROUTINE LIKE CLOTHING, DIET AND ENTERINMENT. WHILE OTHER ARGUE THAT CHILDREN SHOULD TAKE IMPORTANT DECISION WHICH THEY HAVE TO FACE IN FUTURE SO THEY PREPARED FOR IT. BY MY POINT OF VIEW, I REALLY THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD BE GRANTED TO THEIR CHILDREN FOR THIER FREEDOM. I DISCUSS BOTH THE POINT IN FUTHER PARAGRAPHES.
ONE THE ONE HAND, MAMY INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN SHOULD DECISIED THIER OWN CHOICE OF WORK OF DAILY ROUTINE LIKE EATING FOOD, WEARING CLOTHS BY OWN CHOICE AND SO ON. IT REALLY HELP IN CHILDRENS LIFE THEY CAN TAKE DECISION OF THIER LIFE BY OWN WITHOUT ANY HELP AND RESTRICTION. FOR EXAMPLE, IN USA ALL CHILDREN DO AS WHAT THEY WANT AND IT IS VERY HELPFUL IN THIER FUTURE LIFE.
ON OTHER HAND, SOME INDIVIDUALS ARGUE THAT CHILREN SHOULD TAKE DICISION WHICH IS AFFET IN THIER FUTURE LIFE. SO THEY GET IDEA HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULTLY AND HOW TO FINE SOLTION OF IT. FUTHERMORE, IF CHILDREN MAKE PROPER PATH OF THIER LIFE THEN THEY CAN EASILY FIGHT EITH ANY PROBLEM IN THIER LIFE BECAUSE THEY ALREADY PASS FROM IT. FOR EXAMPLE, MANY SUCCESFUL PERSON HAVE A BAD DAYS IN THIER LIFE BUT THEY FIGHT WITH THEM AND NEVER GIVEUP TAKE DECISION SINCE THIER CHILDHOOD SO NOW THEY ARE SUCCESFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD.
IN CONCULSION, THERE ARE SO MAMY PEOPLE SAY THAT TAKING DECISION IN CHILDHOOD IS IMPORTANT BUT THEY HAVE TO LOOK AT FUTURE ALSO WHILE OTHER ARE BELIEVE THAT CHILDREN HAVE FREEDOM AND NOT GET BURDEN ON THEM. BY MY PERPESTIVE, I ALSO AGREE THAT CHILDREN HAVE RIGHT TO GET FREEDOM FOR THIER LIFE THIER CHILDREN THEY ENJOY IT BY OWN WAY AND THEY DO WHAT THEY WANT.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—allowing children to make everyday choices versus guiding them on important future decisions—and states a personal position in the introduction and conclusion. However, the ideas are relatively basic and under-developed. For instance, the argument supporting everyday choices relies on a very brief, unsubstantiated generalisation ('in USA all children do as what they want'). Similarly, the opposing view and the personal opinion are repetitive and lack deep elaboration, meaning the response sits comfortably within the Band 5 descriptors where ideas are present but limited.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, including a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by mechanical and repetitive cohesive devices, such as 'ON OTHER HAND' and 'FUTHERMORE'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the concluding paragraph where pronouns like 'they' and 'their' become confusing ('thier children they enjoy it by own way'). Overall organisation is visible, but the flow and logical connections between sentences require more sophisticated cohesion, aligning with a Band 5 score.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors throughout the text (e.g., 'PERSON' instead of people, 'THIER', 'ENTERINMENT', 'MAMY', 'DECISIED', 'CLOTHS', 'AFFET', 'DIFFICULLTY', 'SOLTION', 'EITH', 'SUCCESFUL', 'CONCULSION', 'PERPESTIVE'). While the writer attempts some topic-related terms like 'freedom' and 'routine', the severe and pervasive spelling mistakes and limited range of appropriate vocabulary constrain the lexical score to Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty (e.g., 'BY MY POINT OF VIEW, I REALLY THINK THAT PARENTS SHOULD BE GRANTED TO THEIR CHILDREN FOR THIER FREEDOM'). Errors in basic grammar, word form, and punctuation are extremely frequent and often cause strain for the reader, such as missing articles, incorrect prepositions, and verb-form confusions ('some individuals argue that chiledren should take dicision which is affet in thier future life'). These persistent errors place the grammar clearly at Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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