Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In some parts of the world a ceratin amount of people tend to believe that if children are allowed to make their own decisions on day to day basis, it will be resulted in an indiviualistic society in which only their opinion matters, while other people might argue that letting children make their own decisions about things that affect them is important for their growth. The both sides present such strong arguments, but I firmly believe that young people should have enough freedom to make decisions about things that are affecting them.
On the one hand, the proponents of the argue of not allowing children to make desicions discuss how a society in which individuals that only think about themselves are produced. Letting upung people make such decisions might result in them having an individualistic personality. In todays world, we come across alot poeple with personlaities like these. Moreover if a society shows such selfish approach and does not show any concern for other humans, not only it results in a society that lacks emapthy but also potentially distroys it.
The oponents of this arguement proposes that young people should be given enough confidence and freedom so that they talk about factors that might affect them badly. This teaches them how to have an opinion at a young age. If the children is not allowed to talk freely he might end up growing in a selfless manner which can hurt them in future.
In conclusion, both arguments present their pros and cons, but despite that my opinion stays same, I beleive that letting a young person have an opinion and letting them talk about things that affect them is giving them confidence while it also teaches how to own one's thoughts.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—that allowing children autonomy creates selfish individuals versus the view that it fosters confidence and critical thinking—and provides a clear personal opinion. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper development with concrete examples. For instance, the discussion on selfish individuals in the second paragraph remains general, noting 'we come across alot poeple with personlaities like these,' without illustrating how this manifests in everyday life. Similarly, the counter-argument about confidence is stated rather than fully expanded. This level of development aligns best with Band 6, where relevant ideas are presented, but some are under-developed or unclear.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs representing opposing views, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed to link sections, such as 'On the one hand' and 'In conclusion,' though referencing is sometimes faulty or mechanical, as seen in 'The oponents of this arguement proposes' where subject-verb agreement in the cohesive framing falters. Progression is generally logical, moving from the prompt's first view to the second and finally to the author's stance, but the transitions between sentences can feel slightly abrupt due to lexical repetition and minor structural awkwardness. These features fit the Band 6 descriptor well.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrasing such as 'individualistic society,' 'empathy,' and 'confidence and freedom.' However, there are frequent spelling and word-choice errors that detract from precision, such as 'ceratin,' 'indiviualistic,' 'alot poeple,' 'personlaities,' 'distroys,' and 'oponents.' Furthermore, some collocations are awkward or incorrect, such as 'proponents of the argue of not allowing children' instead of 'the argument against allowing children.' While these errors do not seriously impede communication, their frequency prevents the score from reaching a higher band. This performance reflects Band 5 to Band 6 characteristics, leaning toward Band 5 due to the noticeable spelling errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting complex structures such as 'if children are allowed to make their own decisions on day to day basis, it will be resulted in...' and 'If the children is not allowed to talk freely he might end up growing...'. However, these complex structures frequently contain grammatical errors, including passive voice misuse ('it will be resulted in'), subject-verb agreement errors ('the children is', 'he might... their future' pronoun mismatch), and missing articles ('on day to day basis'). Simple sentences are generally accurate, but the persistent errors in complex constructions place this text firmly within the Band 5 category, where frequent errors in complex sentences can cause occasional difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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