Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is often argued that providing a independent choice regarding in foods, entertainment, and clothes for adolescent has fundamentally reflected to their personality like confidence, wisdom, and responsibility. While some individuals contend that their repeated habit might cause conceit, arrogance, and impatience in long-term. This essay will discuss both views, and I will state my opinion.
On the one hand, proponents who believe allowing the young children's decision would be reflected in their positive behaviour. This is primarily due to high satisfaction and increased self-esteem. For instance, decision-making might inevitably lead to failure and disappointment which will substantially facilitate the young generation's compassion, responsibility, and patience. To illustrate, the young generation confronts their mistakes from unfortune failure and intentioanally avoid to repear the same predicament which is significantly crucial lesson not only for the young children but also for present society individuals'.
On the other hand, there are far more compelling arguments supporting that letting the young children to decide everything would negatively affected to adolescent personalities.The main rationale is that the young generation might form negative characteristics like selfish, aggressive, and inrespectful. This stems from the fact that the young children who adopted by parents who provide too much of freedom might create naughty kid while selfish individuals who fail to consider others.
In conclusion, despite the apparent advantages of encouraging independence, I firmly believe that parental guidance is necessary to prevent children from growing into self-centered individuals.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both views regarding children making everyday choices and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion. However, the task word count requirement was not met, as the response is 239 words long against the minimum of 250 words. This under-length limitation directly impacts task completion and development. While ideas such as self-esteem and potential selfishness are introduced, they are somewhat repetitive and lack fully extended supporting examples. For instance, the discussion on how failure teaches lessons is stated rather than thoroughly explored. Because the word count threshold was missed and ideas remain partially under-developed, this places the response firmly within the Band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates some overall organisation, utilizing conventional transitional markers like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is attempted to separate the opposing views. However, logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward phrasing, repetitive linking, and abrupt transitions. For example, sentences such as 'This is primarily due to high satisfaction and increased self-esteem' lack a clear referential link to preceding clauses. Cohesive devices are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately, such as starting a sentence with 'To illustrate, the young generation confronts their mistakes...'. Referencing is also occasionally unclear. These structural and cohesive weaknesses align with the Band 5 descriptors.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate to the academic prompt, including terms like 'independence', 'responsibility', 'conceit', and 'predicament'. However, the lexical control is inconsistent. There are numerous word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'providing a independent choice', 'reflected to their personality', 'unfortune failure', and 'inrespectful'. Additionally, morphological errors are present, including 'intentioanally', 'repear', and 'adolescent' used where plurals or alternative forms are needed. The vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task, but noticeable errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader, fitting the Band 5 criteria.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the essay. Frequent errors include missing articles ('in foods'), incorrect preposition use ('choice regarding in foods'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the young children who adopted... might create naughty kid'), and awkward verb tenses or passive voice constructions ('would negatively affected'). Punctuation and sentence boundaries are also occasionally strained, leading to incomplete or run-on thoughts. Due to the high frequency of grammatical errors that regularly impede smooth reading, a Band 5 score is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.