Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In every individual life, maintain their matters according their own choice is very important. Some people is argued that make decisions about matters is affect them. I believe that it has both positive and negative effects. I will discuss this trend provide a logical conclusion.

To commence with, there are some positive reason are associated with it. The first and foremost point is independent. To explain this, when childrens are take their own responsibilty according to their choice they were become more mature then other who live under their parents responsibilty. Like some students who live sprete from their parents in hostel. When two friends share room with each other or other expancis, it become benefical for both like room rent, food or transporttion. However, they become more mature and responible person in own life because they learn how live alone and how to maintain their daily expencis. Which hepls them in their career to make it better.

On the other hand, negative side cannot be ignored. The most prominent point is bad manners. To justify this, when a child do not listen to their parents and every time do what they want to do. So it is seems as a big issue for a children carrer such as they could be adapt bad habits in absence of parents. They should be infulence from crimnals and do illegal activites. Additioinally, they should addicated from drugs and alchol. Moreover, the next point is weak relation. To elobrate this, when a child take their decision by own self and live far from parnets . So its leads to weak relation in parents and children bond.

To conclude, although the numerous point is this in some way chosse a decision for childrens is good such as in the teram od independent. But it also leads to bad habbits and illegel activites.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both views required by the prompt regarding children making their own choices, and presents a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times lacks clarity. For instance, the discussion of the positive side mentions independence and maturity, using an example of students living in a hostel and sharing expenses, but the explanation is somewhat disjointed. Similarly, the negative side touches upon bad manners and criminal influences, but these points are exaggerated and under-developed, leading to an over-generalisation. The conclusion briefly reiterates the points. Overall, while all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of extension and support places this performance in the Band 5 to 6 range. It fits best at Band 5.0 because the ideas are limited, repetitive, and insufficiently supported.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an attempt at paragraphing. However, the overall progression is disrupted by frequent referencing and cohesive errors. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' are used, but their mechanical application often sounds unnatural. Furthermore, referencing is frequently unclear, as seen in sentences like 'Which hepls them in their career to make it better', where the pronoun reference is vague. The connection between sentences within paragraphs is often weak, making the logical flow difficult to follow at times. This lack of smooth progression and flawed cohesion aligns closely with the Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The student uses a limited vocabulary range that is minimally adequate for the task. There are numerous word choice and word formation errors throughout the text, such as 'maintain their matters' instead of 'managing their affairs', 'childrens' instead of 'children', 'sprete' instead of 'separate', 'expancis' instead of 'expenses', 'infulence' instead of 'influence', and 'addicated' instead of 'addicted'. While some attempts are made to use less common vocabulary like 'independent', 'responsible', and 'illegal activities', the high frequency of spelling and lexical errors impedes readability and sometimes causes strain for the reader. This performance reflects the characteristics of Band 4.5 to 5.0, fitting best at Band 4.0 due to the pervasive spelling and lexical errors that strain the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical structure of the essay is heavily flawed. There is a very limited range of structures, and most complex sentence attempts are ungrammatical or poorly formed. For example, 'Some people is argued that make decisions about matters is affect them' contains severe structural and tense errors. Other examples include 'when childrens are take their own responsibilty', 'they were become more mature then other', and 'when a child take their decision by own self'. Punctuation is also problematic, with missing full stops and erratic spacing. Frequent errors in tense, agreement, and clause structure cause considerable difficulty for the reader throughout the response, which firmly places this performance at Band 4.0.

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