Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Undoubtedly, matters of childrens has become controversial issue in recent years. I will discuss some of reasons and some of challenges to be overcome. In my country some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes, and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Own choices has negative effect on society. In my country some young adults independent which believe their own decisions. Some young adults did not listen the parents. They listen the friends and entertainment with friends like playing cricket and dance with friends. They go for shopping and eating food in out of cities with friends. They spend much too time with friends. Another issue is that they did not worry about studies and wastes a lot of money. They do not become a good members of society. But other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. I think it is important for children what is difficulties for them and know them what happening in Pakistan. Children should making their own decisions because next life is no easy more . In life there are some difficulties and some happening when we grow up . In my oponion believing in yourself is the first secret of success. When some people have in problem they show we are angry. I think if people to become a sccessful person they show good behaviour in difficulties. It is a famous maxim try again till you succeed.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address both views outlined in the prompt regarding children making everyday choices, and it eventually states a personal opinion, concluding that believing in oneself is key to success. However, the development of ideas is heavily constrained by the format. The essay lacks clear paragraphing, presenting most arguments in a single dense block of text, which obscures the logical flow. While the writer mentions some reasons related to peer influence, spending money, and future difficulties, these ideas are underdeveloped and repetitive. Generalisations are made about young adults ignoring parents and mismanaging time, but they lack precise examples or deep exploration. Overall, the response addresses the prompt only partially, fulfilling the criteria for a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

Coherence and cohesion are major weaknesses in this essay. The text fails to use appropriate paragraphing, appearing instead as one long block of text rather than a structured essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive, with sentences linked simplistically by basic connectors like 'and' or 'but'. The progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the writer jumps abruptly between topics, such as transitioning from societal impact to personal philosophy without clear signposting. Referencing is also faulty in places, making it hard to determine what pronouns refer to. This lack of organisational structure firmly places the response at Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The lexical resource displayed is limited and repetitive, reflecting a basic vocabulary adequate only for minimal communication. The student repeatedly uses simple words such as 'friends', 'choices', 'difficulties', and 'society'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'matters of childrens has become controversial issue', 'eating food in out of cities', and 'have in problem'. Attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'sccessful person', result in spelling errors or inappropriate usage. Although the meaning can usually be understood despite these flaws, the range of vocabulary is restricted, demonstrating characteristics typical of a Band 4.0 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is severely limited, consisting predominantly of simple sentences and a few faulty attempts at complex structures. There are frequent, noticeable errors in grammar, tense agreement, and punctuation throughout the response. Examples of errors include 'childrens has become', 'did not listen the parents', 'They listen the friends and entertainment', 'Children should making', and 'next life is no easy more'. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are frequently incorrect. These pervasive errors cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and restrict the grammatical control to a Band 4.0 level.

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