Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The question explain the two type pf poeople opinion on the children choices that they make by their own and that they heart by their own opnions. All in all, the opinoins make by children in which somne are usefulls, but most are haremful for thier own self.
In body 1, the people that belive in making children thier own choices because, they belive that the childer have their own life so they have their own rules for live their lifes. Like, to buying their dealy basis thing such as, food, clothes, and entertainment. In my opinion this right as some time because, some tinme children goes feup with their parents choices. FOR example, some time the children wants to buy cloths and entertainment with theirn friends. While, their parents didnot agreed with them. So, they make their won choice where they have freewill for doing anything.
In body 2 , The other people thinks to the children have to make decision on their matters that they harm them. In my way, this is very good for children making decisions with their parents in the matter than making them injured. For instance, In some time the children make choice on the thing that they don't have any idia. So, in this sectuation the way to make choicis descuss the matter with somone that have knowledge about it.
In conclusion, Some dealy life matters are usefull for childrens in that they make their own choice, but maximum matters are those in which they need decisions
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both views presented in the prompt and attempts to provide a personal opinion, touching on everyday choices such as food, clothes, and entertainment. However, the development of ideas is severely constrained by language limitations and poor organisation. The discussion in body paragraph 1 mentions children wanting freedom from parental control regarding daily purchases, but the arguments remain underdeveloped and repetitive. In body paragraph 2, the idea that children might make harmful decisions is introduced, but the reasoning becomes vague and difficult to follow due to lexical and structural breakdowns. While the task is minimally addressed, the arguments lack clarity and extension, corresponding to a Band 4.5 or Band 5 performance. Overall, it aligns most closely with the Band 5 descriptor because the position is not always clear and ideas are limited.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay attempts a standard structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the overall organisation fails to create a clear logical progression. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or repetitive. For instance, transitional phrases like 'In body 1' and 'In body 2' are unnatural and mechanically intrusive. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion of sentences frequently breaks down, making it hard for the reader to follow the flow of arguments. Referencing is often unclear, such as pronoun use referring back to vague antecedents. These persistent issues in logical arrangement and cohesive management place the response firmly in the Band 4 category.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, highly repetitive, and contains numerous spelling and word-choice errors that frequently strain the reader. Examples of inaccurate terms include 'poeople' instead of people, 'haremful' instead of harmful, 'dealy' instead of daily, 'feup' instead of fed up, and 'sectuation' instead of situation. The range of vocabulary is severely limited and inadequate for discussing abstract social topics effectively. While the writer attempts some less common words, the high frequency of spelling and morphological mistakes prevents the response from achieving a higher score. This lexical profile strongly reflects the Band 4 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of simple and heavily flawed complex sentence structures. There is a persistent lack of control over basic grammatical rules, including subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and article usage. Frequent errors such as 'the children choices that they make by their own', 'parents didnot agreed', and 'children have to make decision on their matters that they harm them' cause substantial difficulty for the reader and frequently distort meaning. Complex structures are often attempted, but they are almost always faulty. Punctuation is also weak throughout the text. These frequent, meaning-distorting errors fit the Band 4 criteria.
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