Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's world, some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals, while others argue that it is important for children to make decisions. In my opinion, children should be allowed to make some amount of decisions in their life, but at the same parents should ensure that they don't always make decisions for their own betterment.

On the one hand, allowing children to make their own choices on everyday tasks may make them selfish because they may choose an option that benefits them. Some youths may develop the nature of selfishness, who thinks of their own benefits. Therefore, it may lead to a society of individuals. Additionally, children may become more competitive if they are allowed to make decisions on everyday tasks like clothes and food. This is because they may compare their lifestyle with other children of their age who might come from rich family background.

On the other hand, critics argue that it is important for children to make decisions because it helps in the overall development of them. If children take an initiative to make a decision at a young age, they are more likely to make effective decisions in their adult age, where they have to make effective plans for their family. Furthermore, it helps children to pursue the career of their own choice. For instance, if a child is forced to pursue career in engineering despite of their unwillingness, it may lead to a situation where they may be unable to pass the exams due to their lack of interest.

In conclusion, children should be allowed to make some decisions on their own because it helps in the overall development and prevent a situation of having an unsuccessful career. However, parents should ensure they don't always make decisions of their own choices because it may lead to a society of individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both the view that independent decision-making leads to selfish individualism and the view that it fosters positive overall development. The student also presents a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas suffers from some repetition and minor confusion in phrasing. For instance, the phrase 'a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes' from the prompt is shortened to 'a society of individuals' without fully explaining the negative connotation until the second body paragraph, where the idea that children 'may choose an option that benefits them' is somewhat underdeveloped. While the position is clear and arguments are relevant, the reasoning could be extended more thoroughly to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is adequately fulfilled.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is organised into four distinct paragraphs with a clear overall progression. The introduction outlines the topic and stance, the body paragraphs address the two contrasting views, and the conclusion summarises the main points. Cohesive devices are used to signal shifts between paragraphs, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion within paragraphs are sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the repeated use of 'choices on everyday tasks' and 'make decisions'. Furthermore, paragraphing logic falters slightly in the final sentence of the introduction where the thesis statement becomes slightly convoluted ('at the same parents should ensure that they don't always make decisions for their own betterment'). Despite these minor flaws, the essay maintains a coherent overall arrangement and logical flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating topic-related terms such as 'overall development', 'career of their own choice', and 'lack of interest'. However, there are notable limitations and inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing. For example, the student writes 'youths may develop the nature of selfishness, who thinks of their own benefits', which contains awkward collocation and grammatical mismatch. Additionally, the phrase 'adult age' is less natural than 'adulthood'. While the writer attempts less common vocabulary, slips in word choice and repetitive use of common terms like 'decisions' and 'choices' restrict the lexical score to a solid Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures like 'If children take an initiative...' and 'if a child is forced to pursue career...'. There are, however, several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the text. Examples include 'at the same parents should ensure', missing articles ('pursue career in engineering', 'despite of their unwillingness'), and preposition errors ('decisions on everyday tasks' rather than 'about'). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur with enough frequency to prevent the essay from reaching a Band 7. Control over simple structures is generally good, but complex structures show noticeable instances of inaccuracy.

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