Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Many people argue that letting children take control of there own choices in terms of day-to-day deicison can result in a race of humans that are egocentric. While some individuals argue certain choice made by a child can play a pivitol role in shaping them. I believe that there are many definite choice which can have a positive impact in a childs life. And that such decision should be made by them

To begin with decision making at early stages of life can help an individual grow their cognative thinking. To elaborate, It helps in forming a definative path of errors and corrections since they had an early exposure to a situations. Where they had to choose from certain set of options they develop a sense of awarness towards the outcome of choices. For instance, a child chosing to go for a sports camp for vacation; Rather than chosing to attend a music camp. Thus this will allow him to think rationally towards his likings, boosting his cognative sense of thinking.

However, a continous practice of making one's own decision at such young age can generate an egocentric persona. proponets of this view argues that the brain also develop a superior complex. This could cause a remarkable disrespect towards others as they didn't learn to appreciate and empathize others likings and their choices, For an example a child has been favouring certain food diet, He won't appreciate something else.

In conclusion, although it is debatable that rather children should be allow to make their own choice at such young age or not. I strongly believe that early decision making can help to develop cognative thinking and shape their minds accordingly. preparing for future assestments.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—that allowing children to make choices leads to egocentric adults, and that making decisions is important for personal development—while also providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on cognitive thinking is supported with a single brief example of choosing between a sports camp and a music camp, but the explanation remains underdeveloped. Similarly, the argument regarding an egocentric persona is generalized without sufficient extension. Because the prompt is addressed and a clear position is maintained throughout, the response aligns best with Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs representing different views, and a conclusion. There is a general logical progression, and the writer attempts to use cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'To elaborate', 'However', and 'In conclusion'. However, cohesion is at times faulty and mechanical. For instance, sentences are occasionally fragmented, as seen with 'For an example a child has been favouring certain food diet, He won't appreciate something else.' Furthermore, referencing and punctuation errors disrupt the flow between sentences, placing this performance firmly in Band 5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student attempts less common vocabulary with mixed success, including words like 'pivitol', 'cognative', 'proponets', and 'assestments'. There are noticeable spelling errors ('there' instead of 'their', 'deicison', 'pivitol', 'cognative', 'definative', 'awarness', 'chosing', 'proponets', 'assestments') and word-choice inaccuracies ('a race of humans', 'certain choice', 'future assestments'). While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the intended meaning, the frequency of spelling mistakes and awkward collocations prevents the score from reaching Band 6. Therefore, a Band 5.0 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambition with subordinate clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include pronoun and agreement issues ('letting children take control of there own choices', 'certain choice made'), missing articles ('in a situations'), punctuation faults (comma splices and sentence fragments like 'And that such decision should be made by them'), and incorrect verb forms ('rather children should be allow'). These persistent errors place the grammar aspect at Band 5.

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