Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
A hanfull of individuals think allowing children to take decisions in their daily matters will make a society of selfish people. Others argue that it is crucial for children to make their own decisions. Although, allowing children might create a society of selfish individuals, however not letting children make their own decisions can affect their growth and they might end up relying on others. And for that reason I stand with the latter veiw.
On the one hand, parents can make everday decisions for their children. Children are more vulnerable to make mistakes. This is beacause they are young and are in learning phase. Parents making all the decisions for their kids can potentially make them rely on elders even after hitting early 20s. As a results society might have naive young people more in different industry, which can further cause an intercession with the growth of the economy. For instance, if a task is given to an employee who always relied on others might not be able to do it timel, which can cause loss to teh company. I disagree with this view
On the otherhand, children can deal their daily affairs on their own.This is because their brains are in learning phase and it is the best time for them to learn as much. This will teach them to react accordingly in complex situtaion without asking for anyone's help. For example, often children who loose thier parents at a young age end up being the most mature. Moreover, not only it will create a soceity of smart poeple, but also it will save guardians alot of time as they won't have to spoonfed them on every step in daily lives. As a result they can invest more time in planning their future, I agree with this view
In conclusion, although letting children make their own decisions in daily lives might create a selfish society, however not allowing them will cause soceity of unreliable poeple.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on children making everyday decisions and providing a clear personal opinion in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and under-developed, which keeps the task response score at this level. For instance, the argument regarding the economic impact of dependent employees is abrupt and lacks sufficient explanation. Furthermore, the reasoning tends to be repetitive, particularly when discussing how making decisions helps children learn and react to complex situations. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to extend and support all main points with more thorough explanations and relevant examples rather than moving quickly between ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates some overall organisation with clear paragraph breaks and basic signposting phrases such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the otherhand'. However, the progression of ideas lacks complete clarity, and cohesive devices are sometimes faulty, mechanical, or repetitive. For example, sentences within paragraphs can feel disjointed, and the overuse of phrases like 'This is because' weakens the flow of arguments. Additionally, referencing is occasionally unclear, and transitional phrases between sentences do not always create a smooth logical bridge. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure that each sentence builds clearly upon the preceding one to establish a seamless progression throughout the text.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited but minimally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey basic arguments about children and decision-making. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and spelling throughout the essay, such as 'hanfull' instead of handful, 'timel' instead of timely, 'teh' instead of the, 'situtaion' instead of situation, 'loose' instead of lose, 'soceity' instead of society, and 'spoonfed' instead of spoon-feed. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, but these inaccuracies occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their lexical range, demonstrate more precise word choices, and pay closer attention to spelling and word forms to ensure clear communication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The essay displays a limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and basic complex forms. While the writer attempts some complex structures, these are often faulty, such as in the problematic introductory sentence 'Although, allowing children might create a society of selfish individuals, however not letting children make their own decisions can affect their growth...', which misuses conjunctions. Frequent errors in grammar, punctuation, and articles are present throughout the text, including missing prepositions and awkward phrasing like 'vulnerable to make mistakes' instead of 'vulnerable to making mistakes'. These errors can cause occasional difficulty for the reader. To progress, the writer should incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures and improve overall accuracy in sentence construction and punctuation.
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