Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Self-oriented society can be made if parents would permit children take their own decisions without consulting, as believed by some individuals. However, the counterparts consider it as a quintessential development. This essay will discuss about both the views in the following paragraphs.
To commence with, there are several reasons which advocates the adverse effects of this development. Firstly, children can astray if they are not been guided in their decisions by the adults because their cognitive development is still undergoing, they can take some drastically wrong paths with can put them in a undealable problems. Secondly, the parents serves a role models for children and they learn plethora of things from their parents like sharing, helping, and so on. So, if there would be no one to teach them these etiquettes they would end up making no friends.Thus, they have cope with the prevalant issue called isolation.
On the other hand, this development can be optimistic. Although children are quite young to take their own decision, but this enables them to develop the decision making ability at a very young age. Thus, assisting them to attain the confidence, the most of the adults are deprived of because their childhood was controlled by their parents ended up with no eposure the outer world. Apart from this, they can live a regret free life if their decisions would not be taken by someone else as they would be responsible for their own decesions which can give them the liberty to do the thing of their interest and this enormously helps to live a prosperous life.
To conclude, there are various negative developments that children are vulnerable to along with the optimistic side of self-regulation. I believe they should be allowed to take their decision but under the supervision of the adults.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on children making daily decisions and providing a clear personal opinion. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas remain under-developed or briefly presented. For instance, the first body paragraph touches upon children going astray and facing isolation, but these points lack deeper elaboration with specific examples. To reach a higher level, the ideas need to be fully extended and supported with more thorough explanations and robust illustrations from general knowledge, rather than relying on brief generalisations.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at logical organisation. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, the two opposing viewpoints, and the conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical or faulty. Phrases like 'To commence with' and 'On the other hand' are employed, but referencing and transitions between sentences occasionally feel abrupt or unclear, such as the transition into the discussion about adults being deprived of confidence. To improve cohesion further, the writer should ensure smoother referencing across sentences and a more natural flow of ideas without relying heavily on formulaic transition markers.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task and attempts less common lexical items, such as 'quintessential', 'cognitive development', and 'self-regulation'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice, word form, and collocation throughout the text, including phrases like 'permit children take', 'undealable problems', 'serves a role models', and 'no eposure'. Spelling issues such as 'astray' used as a verb and 'prevalant' also occur. These lexical errors and awkward collocations reflect a limited control of less common vocabulary, meaning communication is occasionally strained by imprecise word choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied syntactic structures. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly regarding verb forms, prepositions within grammatical patterns, and article usage. Examples of these errors include 'children can astray', 'they are not been guided', 'with can put them', 'the parents serves', and 'if their decisions would not be taken'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the writing from achieving a higher level of grammatical control and accuracy.
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