Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, many people argue that allowing children to make their choices on everyday matters such as food, clothes and entertainment is likely to result in a society of individuals who merely think about their own wishes. However, others people say that it is essential for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. This essay will discuss both viewpoints such it helps children to become dependent citizen in their country.

On the one hand, children can learn a lot of things from their own choices. This is because it teach children about responsibilities and they can become a dependent person. When children go to the market they can gain their knowledge like how to purchase stuff. As a result, children can develop their marketing skills. A clear example of this is that American students during the studies they do part-time jobs, which help to manage their personal expenses. Consequently, they lean numerous skills such as discipline, marketing, own responsibilities.

On the other hand, it creates several challenges. The main reason for this is that when children in young age they do not have enough knowledge what is the wrong for them. Sometimes children buy expensive thing from the market, but that is poor-quality. Apart from that, children should take decisions about their life and studies, they should focus on their goals. For instance, students can take the right descision about their field, which sector they want to go and they should start preparation.

In conclusion, the younger individuals can learn several things with their own choices. The students can take the right decision about their life and goals, which help them to secure their future. From my perspective, it is important for children they gain their knowledge outside from their home and explore world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt only partially, which places it at this level. While the writer attempts to discuss both viewpoints regarding children making everyday choices and provides an opinion in the conclusion, the ideas remain limited and under-developed. For instance, the introduction states that the essay will discuss the views 'such it helps children to become dependent citizen', which confuses the argument and shifts focus awkwardly. In the body paragraphs, points are introduced—such as American students doing part-time jobs—but they are not clearly connected to the core topic of children making everyday choices on food and clothes. Furthermore, the position is not always clearly sustained throughout the body paragraphs, resulting in a somewhat superficial treatment of the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays some overall organization with clear paragraph breaks, yet it lacks a clear overall progression. While basic cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', referencing and substitution are often faulty or mechanical. For example, sentences within the body paragraphs frequently repeat similar structural patterns and lack smooth logical links, making the movement from one idea to the next abrupt. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is inadequate, and sentences sometimes feel disjointed rather than building a unified argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and minimally adequate for the task. The writer relies heavily on basic, repetitive words and phrases, such as 'children', 'things', 'choices', and 'market'. There are noticeable errors in word choice, word form, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as using 'dependent' when intending to mean 'independent', writing 'own responsibilities' instead of personal responsibility, and stating 'knowledge like how to purchase stuff'. Attempts to use less common lexical items are constrained by inaccurate collocations, restricting the overall range and precision of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writing demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures. Although the student attempts a few complex sentences, these attempts are frequently faulty, such as in the clause 'when children in young age they do not have enough knowledge what is the wrong for them.' Frequent errors occur across basic and complex structures, including missing articles ('during the studies', 'explore world'), incorrect prepositions ('outside from their home'), subject-verb agreement issues ('others people say'), and awkward clause structures. These frequent grammatical inaccuracies cause noticeable difficulty for the reader throughout the text.

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