Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Parenting as a process is still seen as a controversial topic for people. As culture, skills and even the intellectual level is different from family to family and from country to country.
A huge concept talked about in families is whether allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters is the right thing to do.
For some, this provides the child with enough freedom to take decision based on the situation and act upon the consequences. For this is a healthy aspect to follow, it also showed in the last decade that taking such a "risk" caused some parents to lose control over their kids as they turned into rebelious individuals causing havoc on a daily basis. The idea that the child is able to do whatever he wishes without consulting a parent made some children abuse that freedom. Also, with the huge influence of social media, that "freedom" has became the standard now. Kids nowadays have the capabilty of making such crucial decisions as choosing their gender, sexuality, religious orientation, withouth even discussing the matter with an adult first. Furthermore, some countries made laws that made that possible which resulted in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Many oppose this idea as it's likely to cause a whole generation of incompetents and people who lack empathy.
That said, others think that it's crucial for children to have some sort of authority at an early age. They believe that it allows them to take action in important matters that affects them, which teaches them independance and autonomy resulting in individuals capable of deciding what's good for them and others based on the outcome. Taken the exemple of a school that allows the children to decide which subject they want to learn from the early age of 6. Growing up the students of that school showed high potential in making vital decisions related to political matters. Despite the consequences, the philosophy behind this topic is practical.
In conclusion, although allowing children to make their own decision shows some negative results in some cases, I belive that the benenfits make it worthwile experience for parents.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views on children making everyday choices and provides an opinion in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes tangential, which places it at this level. While you touch on the idea of children gaining independence, some arguments lack sufficient support or clarity, such as the sudden shift into complex modern social issues. To reach the next level, you need to ensure that all parts of the task are fully explored with well-developed, highly relevant explanations and examples that directly relate to the prompt's focus on everyday matters like food, clothes, and entertainment.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some organisation evident in your essay, with clear paragraph breaks separating the introduction, the two body views, and the conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression, and cohesive devices are sometimes inadequate or repetitive, leading to a mechanical feel. For example, transitional phrases like 'For this is a healthy aspect to follow, it also showed...' are awkward and obscure the logical relationship between sentences. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it hard for the reader to follow your argument smoothly. Using a wider variety of cohesive markers accurately and ensuring logical links between sentences will significantly improve this area.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is limited but minimally adequate to convey your main points. You attempt some less common vocabulary, such as 'autonomy', 'incompetents', and 'wholesome experience', but noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation occur throughout the text. For instance, writing 'rebelious' instead of 'rebellious', 'capabilty' instead of 'capability', or 'Taken the exemple' instead of 'Taking the example'. Additionally, phrases like 'causing havoc on a daily basis' show an attempt at expressive language, but inaccuracies in spelling and word choice cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent you from achieving a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You demonstrate a limited range of structures, relying on a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, your attempts at complex structures are often faulty, and frequent grammatical errors cause difficulty for the reader. There are notable issues with sentence fragments, verb forms, and prepositions within grammatical patterns, such as 'to take decision' instead of 'to take decisions', 'matters that affects' instead of 'matters that affect', and 'from the early age' instead of 'from an early age'. Punctuation errors and awkward phrasing also persist throughout the essay. Increasing the accuracy of your complex sentences and reviewing basic agreement rules will help elevate your grammar score.
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