Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In today's rapidly changing world, that allowing kids to their own choices everyday matters is likely to result they only think about their own wisheshas become a widely debated issue. While some people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that effect them. This essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I believe that children in our society are more intelligent so they make their life better and make their own choices.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why people believe that our youngsters make their decions on daily routine schedule. The main reason is that they make their children independent and confident. This means that confidential child build his life incredibly better than dependent. For instance, when they start their carrer in future they make it enhanced owing to the fact that they know about their values and also be familiar with decision making process.
On the other hand, others argue that children to make decisions about matters that effect them. One important reason is that our new generation want independent and smooth life. They did not like ristrictions and they also did not beer any kind of strictness. To illustrate, if we prevent them for making decision they will become stubborn and suffer from an inferiority complex.
To sum up, both views have their own merits. However, i beleive that allowing children to make their own choices on daily routine, mainly because children become self -assured when they prefer prefer their own determinations.When they enter in their practical life they become mature and fully sensable person.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
The response responds to the task only minimally, which is reflected in the score. Furthermore, the length requirement is NOT met, as the response contains 243 words, falling 7 words short of the 250-word minimum (additionally, 23 words copied directly from the task prompt were not counted). While the essay attempts to discuss both views and give an opinion, the ideas are presented in a very limited and repetitive way. The position is barely discernible due to numerous awkward phrasings and underdeveloped points, such as stating that new generations 'want independent and smooth life' without sufficient elaboration or clear extension. To reach a higher level, the writer needs to fully address all parts of the task with well-developed ideas and clear support, ensuring that the word count requirement is comfortably exceeded.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organization present, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas throughout the essay. Paragraphing is attempted, yet the internal flow within paragraphs is disjointed. Cohesive devices are used minimally or inaccurately, with repetitive transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' struggling to hold the text together logically. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as pronoun shifts between 'they', 'children', and 'new generation'. To improve, the writer must ensure that ideas are logically sequenced with smoother, more accurate transitions between sentences and paragraphs, establishing a clear and progressive line of argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, leading to frequent errors in word choice, word form, and spelling that strain the reader. Examples include 'wisheshas' (wishes has), 'effect' instead of 'affect', 'decions', 'carrer', 'ristrictions', 'beer' instead of 'bear', and 'sensable'. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying simple ideas, but attempts at less common items result in noticeable errors that impede clear communication. To achieve a higher band, the student must expand their lexical repertoire, use words with greater precision regarding collocation and style, and improve basic spelling and word-formation skills.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of structures, relying mostly on simple sentences or faulty attempts at complex ones. Errors are frequent and often distort meaning, such as the major fragment and missing verb in the opening sentence: 'that allowing kids to their own choices everyday matters is likely to result they only think about their own wishsha'. There are persistent errors in verb forms, prepositions, articles, and clause structures, such as 'children to make decisions' and 'prevent them for making decision'. Punctuation and basic sentence construction also show frequent issues. To progress, the writer needs to demonstrate control over a wider variety of grammatical structures and reduce the density of basic errors.
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