Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Describe the statement some people belive that the allowing childeren select own choices on the everyday for example the food, clothes, and the entertaiment and this likely to result in a society or aviliable only about own wishes. And some people believe the important for childeren to advice for other people so the result the best ways.
First of all some people belive the partents permission the your childeren on your choices the everyday select and klike thjis food, clothes and entertainment because they allow to every person the buy produce and meales and outfittis they like me. And than the purchase the favitore of type so very happy and enjoy to them.
Secondly some people believe the they not allow to childeren you can buy on your choices for example the food, clothes shose and purchase the different producet becvause some people on you mind they cannot allow so that the share than the old people advice good result for the childeren .
On my opinion they allow you childeren say yopu can buy own your choices becuase you donnot sure that your childeren choices.For example you can purchase the you childeren clothes but your childeren not this clothes for examples this clothes colour not your childeren choice. And the last you purchase the clothes not like for your childeren.So you allow the childeren can buy the your choices clothes and eat the favitore food the enjoy the meet and the good reults on your wishes.
Overall you can allow the childeren to make own choices produect
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response engages with the prompt minimally, touching upon the two opposing views regarding children making everyday choices and attempting to give a personal opinion. However, the ideas remain very limited and under-developed throughout the essay. For instance, the discussion on why parents might restrict choices or why children should choose for themselves is repetitive and lacks extension with clear examples or reasoning. The writer mentions clothing choices like 'this clothes colour not your childeren choice', but the argument is unclear and difficult to follow. To move to a higher level, the response would need to fully address all parts of the task with well-developed ideas, clear explanations, and a coherent position supported by relevant examples.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The information and ideas are not arranged coherently, making it difficult to discern a clear logical progression throughout the text. While the student attempts basic paragraphing, the flow of ideas is frequently disrupted by abrupt transitions and repetitive phrases like 'some people belive' and 'for example'. Referencing and logical links between sentences are often missing or unclear, such as moving from the discussion of parents permitting choices directly to a disjointed concluding thought. To improve in this criterion, the writer must organise ideas logically, ensure a clear progression of arguments from one paragraph to the next, and use cohesive devices more accurately to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used throughout the essay is very basic and repetitive, with frequent errors that severely strain the reader's understanding. Words are frequently misused in terms of word choice and collocation, such as 'aviliable only about own wishes' or 'purchase the different producet'. There are also numerous spelling and word-form errors, including 'childeren', 'belive', 'partents', 'shose', and 'produect'. The range of vocabulary is extremely limited and inadequate for discussing a complex social topic. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to expand their lexical repertoire significantly, use less common vocabulary with greater accuracy, and ensure correct spelling and word forms throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response demonstrates a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple, repetitive patterns that are frequently faulty. Errors in grammar, punctuation, and sentence construction are very frequent and often distort the meaning of the writing. There are persistent issues with verb forms, subject-verb agreement, missing articles, and prepositions, such as in the opening sentence: 'Describe the statement some people belive that the allowing childeren select own choices on the everyday'. Complex sentence forms are either absent or attempted with frequent errors that cause significant difficulty for the reader. To progress, the student must master basic sentence structures, reduce the frequency of grammatical errors, and demonstrate better control over tense usage, plurals, and punctuation.
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