Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The independence of children in the phenomenon of choice is a widely debated subject in the society. Some opine that allowing children the freedom of choice in matters affecting them, such as food, fashion and entertainment is imperative for overall development. While critics believe that giving children freedom of choice on these matters will result in a selfish society.

Admittedly, it is a skeptical decision to allow children too much freedom in matters of food consumption, fashion and entertainment. Children are immature, and do not possess the relevent knowledge, experience or sanity to comprehend the consequences of their choice. A child only sees the immidiate satiability of a food product, entertainment means or fashion, not having the foresight to its potential detriments. Therefore the choices children make are often selfish and imprudent. Consequently, the concerns of the critics are not inaccurate. Prolonged practice of unsupervised freedom for children in such matters may result in a selfish society.

Supporters of independent choice for children advocate that the freedom of choice allows for character development among children. When a child is given the permission of choice he/she shall also bear the responsibility of the consequences. Repeated choices whether right or wrong, expose the children to consequences of their decisions and choices, which inevitably results in learning. As the elders say mistakes are important for learning, every mistake in choices present a learning opportunity for children. I am inclined to position myself with the supporters of independent choices for children, since i resonate more with their reasoning.

I honestly believe that allowing children the opportunity to make choices for themselves will not only result in individual character development, but also the overall progression of society. However, I also believe that adult supervision is essential.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response discusses both perspectives and gives a clear preference for children making choices, while adding the important qualification that adult supervision is essential. The explanation of the critics’ concern is relevant: children may focus on immediate satisfaction and overlook consequences. The supporters’ view is also explained through responsibility and learning from mistakes. This covers the task well, but the ideas are not equally developed: the possible link between everyday choices and a selfish society is asserted rather than illustrated, and the final claim about society’s overall progression is not supported with a concrete example. To strengthen the response, explain how guided choices can teach consideration for others, perhaps through a family or school example, and develop the role of supervision more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction presents the two views, separate body sections explain each, and the conclusion states the writer’s position. Linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “Consequently,” and “However” help show relationships between ideas. The progression is generally clear, although some connections feel mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated references to “choices” and “freedom of choice.” The supporters’ paragraph also moves from responsibility to mistakes and learning without clearly distinguishing these points, and the conclusion repeats the position rather than drawing the discussion together. Use clearer topic sentences and more varied referencing, such as “this responsibility” or “such guidance,” to make links smoother and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The response uses an adequate range and attempts more formal vocabulary, including “imperative,” “consequences,” “character development,” and “unsupervised freedom.” These choices suit the topic, but some less common expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. For example, “the independence of children in the phenomenon of choice” is difficult to interpret, and “sanity” does not mean the knowledge or judgement children lack. There are also spelling errors such as “relevent” and “immidiate,” alongside awkward collocations such as “immediate satiability.” Prefer clear, natural phrasing over elevated wording, and check spelling and collocations carefully. More precise vocabulary for guided decision-making and consideration of others would also help develop the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and several sentences communicate the argument clearly, including “Children are immature, and do not possess…” and “However, I also believe that adult supervision is essential.” Some grammatical errors remain, but they rarely prevent understanding. For example, “When a child is given the permission of choice he/she shall also bear…” has an awkward construction and punctuation is needed before the pronoun; “every mistake in choices present” has a subject–verb agreement error; and “I” should be capitalised. The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Work on articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, and revise complex sentences to ensure each clause is complete and clearly connected.

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