Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

While some argue that allowing children to make their own selection on everyday matters just like food, clothes and entertainment, is likely to show a good effect a society of individuals who only talking about their own dreams or wishes. Some other individuals thinking that it is important for childrens to make decisions about matters that affect them.

In my opinion, its make a children to harder and he doing everything their own risk and experience so many things that other child do not did this. In future who is make decision their own risk he make contact and communication ver easier than the others because he is doing these activities in a long time so he is experienced so much.

While, a children make a desicion in their daily routine. He is also good dressing sense, good healthy body, enjoy more than the peope he knows. When is doing these activities so these thing affect him to make a stronge mind, and doing good in practical life.He knows the value of things so he is very carefull. He become a good husband, good father, good sibling, good son, good for relatives.

Overall, it is very important for the learner and make a children stable and emotionally stable. These type of activities make a children mind to become a roler not a simple human who blame others and not accept own mistake.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response recognises the topic and gives a personal view that children benefit from making decisions, with possible effects such as becoming more experienced and emotionally stable. However, it does not adequately discuss both views: the concern that children may become self-centred is only repeated in the opening and is not explained or supported. The reasons for your own position are also difficult to follow, and claims about becoming a good husband, father, sibling, or son are not clearly connected to everyday choices. The response is 224 words, below the 250-word minimum; 8 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each side with a clear reason and a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

You use separate paragraphs for the introduction, your opinion, supporting points, and conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise the response. However, the ideas do not progress clearly: the second paragraph introduces experience and communication, while the next shifts to clothing, health, and family roles without explaining the links. Connectors such as “While” and “Overall” signal transitions, but “While” does not introduce a complete contrast, and several sentences run together or have unclear references, such as “these thing affect him.” Build a clearer sequence: explain one view, explain the other, then state and support your position. Use linking phrases only where the relationship between ideas is clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response includes some topic-related vocabulary, including “decisions,” “daily routine,” “experience,” and “emotionally stable,” which helps convey the general subject. However, the range is basic and several word choices or collocations make the meaning difficult to understand. For example, “show a good effect a society,” “make contact and communication,” and “a roler” do not express the intended ideas clearly. There are also spelling errors such as “desicion,” “peope,” and “carefull.” Aim for precise phrases such as “have a positive effect on society,” “develop communication skills,” and “take responsibility.” Checking spelling and choosing natural collocations would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic structures to express opinions and consequences, but grammatical control is inconsistent. Errors frequently affect clarity, as in “Some other individuals thinking” and “its make a children to harder,” where the verb forms and sentence structure are faulty. Agreement and pronoun use are also problematic in “he make contact” and “these thing affect him,” while “While, a children make a desicion” is not a complete, correctly formed clause. Most sentences rely on simple patterns, with limited accurate complex structures. Practise forming complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check verb agreement, articles, plurals, and punctuation. Shorter, accurate sentences would help communicate your points.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.