Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Here! These all points is valid and storng but here is a different opinion from my side beacause everyone think different from one and other and the the main point is that the childern have right for take decisions about his or her self but the parent have also right if they took bad or harmful decision then they have to stop them but the basic decision of the children is that clothes and entertainment is right are childrenes but if the children wants to illegal or uncondional wants and thats bad parents have the right no fullfil that .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a relevant central view: children should make ordinary choices about clothes and entertainment, while parents should intervene when a choice is harmful. This addresses part of the question and gives a basic opinion. However, the response does not adequately discuss both views: the concern that children may become self-centred is not explained, and your own position is not developed with reasons or examples. The distinction between everyday choices and harmful decisions is useful, but it needs explanation and support. The response is also 150 words below the required minimum, so there is not enough development to fulfil the task. To improve, explain each viewpoint, state your position clearly, and add specific examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

There is a basic line of thought: children can make everyday choices, but parents should stop harmful decisions. However, the response is presented as one long sentence, so the reader cannot easily distinguish the two views, your opinion, and supporting reasons. Connections such as “but” and “if” are attempted, yet the repeated linking and unclear references make the progression difficult to follow. For example, “Here! These all points” does not clearly identify which points you mean, and the final clause is hard to connect to the earlier argument. Use separate paragraphs for the opposing views and your opinion, and build each paragraph around one main idea with clear transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You communicate a few relevant ideas using basic topic vocabulary, including “decisions,” “clothes,” “entertainment,” and “harmful.” These words help convey the general distinction between ordinary and risky choices. However, the range is narrow, and several inaccurate or unclear expressions make the argument harder to understand, such as “illegal or uncondional wants” and “no fullfil that.” Spelling errors, including “storng,” “beacause,” and “childern,” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise phrases such as “unreasonable demands,” “meet a child’s request,” and “make an informed choice.” Learning vocabulary in common word partnerships will help you express the ideas more naturally and accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas using clauses with “because,” “if,” and “but,” showing some effort to move beyond isolated simple statements. However, the response is dominated by one long, poorly controlled sentence, and errors in sentence structure and basic forms frequently obscure meaning. Examples include “These all points is valid,” “everyone think,” and “the children have right for take decisions.” The final conditional clause also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Use shorter sentences first, checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and verb patterns—for example, “Children have the right to make decisions about themselves.” Then practise combining two clear sentences with a conjunction and using full stops to mark complete ideas.

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