Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Hear we discuss about the some people belive that allowing children to make their own choise on everyday matters and also other side the some parents who only think about their own wishes. my opinion is children make their own choises

i agree with the the statment of some parents who allowing children to make their own choise on every day matters . if children doing as they want such as food , clothes and chosing their entertainment because child do what they want in their life also chose what they want to become into future carear they have their own opinion what to do

secondly, some parents are already decide their child carear what they want to become in future it is not a bad idea but children opinion is must important as well as parents however, for example if parents decide their own child future but child do not aggre with the statement of their parents and also this decision is impacting to their bond

overall conculusion is, lision to the parents and also parents have discuses to their children

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear personal preference for children making choices, and you mention relevant examples such as food, clothes, entertainment and future careers. However, the response addresses the two views only minimally: the concern that children may become self-centred is not explained, and the opposing view is not developed with reasons or examples. The point about parents choosing a child’s career is relevant, but it does not fully explain the everyday-choice issue in the prompt. Your conclusion, “listen to the parents,” also leaves your position unclear compared with your opening. The response is 68 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to discuss both views and support your opinion. Develop each side and state a consistent conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening, a paragraph beginning “secondly,” and a concluding statement. You also use simple linking expressions such as “because,” “however” and “for example.” However, ideas are not arranged coherently enough to show a clear progression. The opening combines the two views unclearly, and the first body paragraph moves from everyday choices to future careers without explaining the connection. The second paragraph’s example is difficult to follow, while the conclusion does not clearly follow from the stated opinion. Use one paragraph for each view, begin each with a clear main point, and connect examples directly to that point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, but some task-related terms are relevant, including “everyday matters,” “entertainment,” “opinion” and “future career.” These help the reader identify the general topic. However, frequent spelling errors and inaccurate or awkward word choices make parts of the response difficult to understand, for example “choise,” “belive,” “aggre” and “lision.” Phrases such as “child do what they want in their life” and “impacting to their bond” are also unclear or unnatural. Build a small set of accurate expressions for discussing independence, responsibility and parental guidance, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you explain the two positions rather than repeating general references to what children want.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express opinions and give reasons, and there are a few simple sentence patterns, such as “my opinion is children make their own choises.” However, the range of sentence structures is very limited, and frequent errors in sentence formation often obscure the intended meaning. For example, “if children doing as they want” lacks a complete grammatical structure, while “some parents are already decide” has an incorrect verb form. Articles, agreement and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “the some parents” and the long, unpunctuated opening sentence. Practise building complete sentences with a subject and correctly formed verb, then join ideas using simple, accurate clauses. Clear sentence boundaries will make your reasoning much easier to follow.

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