Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is an ongoing debate in students career choices. Many argue that college students should choose a course based on their interests, whereas others believe that they must choose disciplines with more prospects. This essay will analyze both perspectives and give my opinion.

To begin with, when children are allowed to make their own decisions, they usually consider their own priorities in many aspects and do not think about other people, such as their parents or siblings. As a result, their parents might put a lot of pressure on them. Similarly, they will become impolite people in their future lives, which will be a destructive for social connections. For example, children often don't think about his parents financial situation. Therefore, they have to work hard constantly to fulfil their children's dreams.

On the other hand, children who have thechance to make decisions about their own matters can foster their self-cofidence. In addition, their will rely more on themselves in difficulties. Consequently, making various decisions will be easier for them, especially in choosing their careers, fields of study, life partner. Furthermore, they can help their independence. For instance, when they need to adapt to a new environment during their migration, they are strong enough to deal with their challenges and improve their quality of life.

In conclusion, although making different decisions in childhood might make children someone, who do not think about others needs, it will be so rewarding for their future, and they become mature enough to rely on themselves. I believe that their parents and teachers guide them to have more empathy and respect others needs as well as their own needs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response presents two sides and gives a clear final view: children should make choices, with adults guiding them towards empathy. However, it does not address the assigned debate accurately. The opening shifts to university students choosing courses according to interest or career prospects, a different issue, and the body focuses mainly on children’s independence rather than everyday choices such as food, clothing, and entertainment. The concern that children may become self-centred is relevant, but the example about parents’ finances is only briefly explained. The benefits of decision-making are also asserted more than developed. To strengthen the response, stay focused on the prompt throughout and explain how everyday choices can build autonomy while parental guidance can prevent selfishness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad structure. However, progression within the argument is uneven: the introduction’s discussion of students’ career choices does not lead naturally into the paragraphs about children, and the examples are not always clearly connected to the claims. Some linking words, including “Similarly” and “Consequently,” signal relationships that are not fully explained. References such as “they” and “their” can also be unclear. Build a more consistent line of argument by keeping each paragraph centred on one aspect of the question and explicitly showing how each example supports its point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary, including “priorities,” “self-confidence,” “independence,” “empathy,” and “quality of life,” and the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “an ongoing debate” and “destructive for social connections.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, and some spelling errors reduce control: “self-cofidence,” “thechance,” and “a destructive” are examples. Phrases such as “help their independence” and “make children someone” do not express the intended meaning clearly. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Using vocabulary directly related to everyday choices and parental guidance would also make the response more focused.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay attempts a mix of simple and complex structures, including subordinate clauses in “when children are allowed to make their own decisions” and a contrast clause beginning “although.” Most sentences communicate a basic idea, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms remain noticeable. For example, “they do not think about other people” is followed by an example whose pronoun reference is unclear, while “children someone, who do not think” is not a well-formed clause. The list “choosing their careers, fields of study, life partner” also lacks consistent grammatical form and number. Review clause construction, pronoun reference, articles, and plural forms, then proofread punctuation and spacing. More accurate complex sentences would make the reasoning easier to follow.

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