Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The children of today are the future of human civilization and the fact cannot be denied that their development in terms of both physical and mental aspects are of paramount importance. A crucial deciding factor can be inferred by the way they choose to do things, whether they do it for their own motives or for the overall benefit of the people around them.

Supporters of the argument 'childern should be allowed to make their own choices on everyday matters is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes' contend that, children raised in such environments lack the empathic capabilites to think or feel about people around them. Their personality tends to develop in a way that they always tend to keep their own priority foremost without considering the overall situation, or how their own actions about doing certain things in a particular way may affect other individuals.

Conversely, critics argue that children raised in an environment where their decisions are made by the people around them and their own choices of the things and actions are not considered, in such environements children lack the capability to get independent. Children ought to develop lower self confidence and their overall life gets miserable as they face responsibilities.

In my opinion, there exisist a fine balance between both the extremes. Children should possess freedom upto a certain degree of restriction which does more good than harm. Children should be raised in environments where they can freely make decisions of their own on ubiquitous matters but when things are serious they should be guided to make a better choice.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You present both views and give a clear personal position: the final paragraph argues for a balance between children’s freedom and adult guidance. The discussion is relevant, but the ideas are only partly developed. For example, you say that unrestricted choice may weaken empathy and that having decisions made for children may reduce confidence, but you provide no concrete example or explanation of how these outcomes occur. The phrase “freedom up to a certain degree of restriction” also leaves your proposed boundary unclear. The response contains 249 words, so it falls one word short of the 250-word minimum; the 24 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop each view with a specific example and explain your position more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, and a concluding opinion. Transitions such as “Conversely” and “In my opinion” help signal changes in direction, and the two opposing arguments are separated clearly. However, progression within paragraphs is limited: claims are often placed next to one another without examples or explanation to connect them. The second paragraph’s opening quotation-like wording is also cumbersome and makes the argument harder to follow. In the third paragraph, the sentence beginning “Conversely, critics argue” becomes difficult to track because it combines the critics’ view with a long description of its consequences. Use clearer topic sentences and divide complex ideas into shorter, logically linked sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of formal and topic-relevant vocabulary, including “paramount importance,” “empathic capabilities,” “self confidence,” and “responsibilities.” This gives the response an appropriately serious tone, and the main ideas remain understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “the capability to get independent,” “their overall life gets miserable,” and “freedom up to a certain degree of restriction.” Spelling errors, including “childern,” “capabilites,” and “environements,” also reduce accuracy. Some expressions are unnecessarily elaborate, such as “the overall benefit of the people around them,” where a more direct phrase would be clearer. Aim for precise, natural collocations and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “whether” and “where,” and you use a range of sentence openings. Meaning is generally recoverable, but control is uneven, particularly in long sentences. For instance, “Supporters of the argument … contend that, children…” has an unnecessary comma after “that,” while “Conversely, critics argue that …, in such environements children…” leaves the sentence structure incomplete and difficult to follow. There are also problems with articles and phrasing, as in “develop lower self confidence,” and the final paragraph’s “when things are serious they should be guided” would benefit from clearer punctuation and structure. Use shorter sentences when explaining cause and effect, and proofread clause boundaries, commas, and article use.

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