Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, there is a debate on whether the young people should be alllowed to make their own decisions on day to day encounters like food,clothes and entertainment while others believe that teenagers should be allowed to make their own choices in issues that affect them. Allowing them to make self decisions will promote independence and bulids confidence and also can lead t to make unhealthy choices. This essay will discuss both views before giving my own opinion.

On one hand, when children are given the opportunity to make decisions regarding their daily lives encounters it ultimately leads emegernce of a selfish society.This is because children will become self-centered , focusing mainly on what they want without compromising of other peoples needs. For instance giving children mandate to choose on what could on a tv, maybe he/she wants to watch cartoons while the rest of the family wants to watch a movie, may disadvantaged the other family members.Overtime, this could cotribute tona society where people prioritise personal desires over the needs of the community.

On the other hand, allowing children take controll on matters affecting their lives helps in developing independence and confidence as eraly as possible. This is where children learn to make choices and become more responsible for their decisions. In addition, by making their own choices,children feel trusted and boosts their confidence while expressing their opinions. For example, when a child is allowed to decide on which cloth he/she wants to where to a partcular occassion the child will feel noticed and entrusted hence boosting their confidence.If given the opportunity to make decisions, teenagers will be able acquire useful skills like creativity and decision making whle improving the relationships between them and their parents or guardians.

In conclusion, allowing the youngsters to make their own decisions have both negative and positive impacts. Firstly , its creates a self-centered society which will ultimately lead to selfish society. The teenagers who are given the mandate to make choices by far acquire more skills in future like creativity and decision making skills which are very useful. In my opinion, i believe by giving them a chance to decide what they want, it probably help in moulding a child to be independent and confident.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both views and gives a clear personal position: you explain the risk of self-centred behaviour and argue that choice can build independence and confidence. The examples about choosing television programmes and clothing make the discussion relevant. However, the first view is developed less fully: the television example shows a possible family disagreement, but the link to a selfish society is asserted rather than explained in depth. The benefits are more clearly supported, though the claim that decision-making improves relationships with parents is not illustrated. Your conclusion restates the main points, but its position could be expressed more directly and consistently. Develop each view with a fuller explanation of how the example supports the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow, and examples are placed with the relevant arguments. This organisation is effective, though some linking is mechanical and a few connections are unclear. For example, “This is where children learn” does not clearly refer to the preceding claim, while the conclusion repeats the idea of a “self-centered society” and then shifts to the benefits. Improve cohesion by using clearer references and varying transitions, and make the relationship between each example and its point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “independence,” “self-centered,” “responsible,” and “decision making,” and you attempt some less common expressions such as “prioritise personal desires.” However, the range is limited by repeated wording such as “make decisions,” “choices,” and “confidence,” and several inaccurate or misspelled forms make the expression less clear. Examples include “day to day encounters,” “mandate to choose,” “cot ribute tona,” and “moulding a child.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “make self decisions” and “take controll on matters.” Choose more precise collocations, check spelling carefully, and avoid repeating the same key terms when a natural alternative is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning “when,” “while,” and “because,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence structure and grammatical forms occur across the response. For example, “allowing children take controll” needs an infinitive marker, “children feel trusted and boosts their confidence” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “allowing the youngsters … have” does not agree in number. There are also problems with articles, prepositions, and punctuation, as in “on which cloth he/she wants to where to a partcular occassion.” Some long sentences become difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear punctuation. Practise checking agreement and sentence boundaries, and edit each sentence for complete, correctly linked clauses.

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