Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many individuals argue that allowing children to make their own decisions on everyday basis, such as food, clothes and entertainment can make them self-centred, whereas some people believe that it is crucial that children should make their own decisions in various aspects of their lives that can affect them. I agree with the latter view; however, both perspectives will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

Supporters of the first view of thought claim that children who make their own decisions become selfish. This is because it becomes their intrinsic property and as a result, the individuals only learn to care about their own needs and wishes rather than thinking about the requirements of the others. For example, children who make their own decision in eating tend to become ignorant about the needy people. Therefore, it affects the society and makes people more self-centred.

While critics of the aforementioned view, including me believe that it is crucial to make decisions for the cognitive learning of the individual. This is because it leads to self-exploration and children get to know about their interests and other aspects of life that may affect them. For instance, making ones' own food choice at a restaurant helps children to learn about different cuisines and they can explore different flavours and textures of food. Thus, it is vital to make children self-dependent in terms of making choices and decisions.

In conclusion, although children who make their own everyday choices may develop a selfish behaviour, which can lead to a self-centred society, I believe that it is important for their cognitive develpment and to explore their interests and matters that may affect them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state a clear preference for children making choices, so the response stays focused on the task. The first view is linked to self-centredness, and the second is supported with the idea that choices encourage self-exploration. However, some points are less fully developed than others. The claim that choosing food makes children “ignorant about the needy people” is not clearly explained, and the restaurant example mainly shows exposure to food rather than how decision-making benefits children more broadly. To strengthen the response, explain the causal links and add a more convincing example, such as children learning responsibility by choosing suitable clothes or balancing preferences with family needs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: the introduction presents the debate and your position, each body paragraph discusses one view, and the conclusion restates your opinion. Ideas generally progress logically, and signposts such as “For example,” “Therefore,” and “In conclusion” help the reader follow the argument. This clear organisation is a strength. Some linking is slightly mechanical, however, with repeated “This is because” and “Therefore/Thus” patterns. The transition “While critics of the aforementioned view, including me believe” is also awkward and makes the relationship between the ideas less smooth. Use a more direct transition and vary how you connect explanations, examples, and consequences to make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “self-centred,” “intrinsic,” “self-exploration,” and “cognitive learning.” These choices allow you to discuss both personal development and possible social effects. There are also some inaccurate or unnatural expressions, such as “everyday basis,” “view of thought,” and “make decisions for the cognitive learning,” which reduce precision. “Intrinsic property” does not clearly express the intended idea, and “develpment” is misspelled in the conclusion. Aim for natural collocations and accurate word forms rather than inserting formal-sounding terms. More precise language would help distinguish between children becoming independent and becoming selfish.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “whereas,” and “although.” Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, and the argument remains understandable despite some grammatical slips. For example, the opening sentence needs clearer punctuation around the example, and “including me believe” is missing a grammatical link, such as “including me, believe” or “I believe.” In “making ones' own food choice,” the possessive form and singular/plural pattern are not controlled. The conclusion also has an awkward structure in “important for their cognitive development and to explore.” Work on punctuation, possessives, and parallel sentence structures while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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