Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

One group of commentators, reckon that giving permission to choose eveyday matters as they wish may results in a selfish person of society. while commentators of other group consider it very significant to make determinations about matters that impact them. However, it is witnessed that this topic has become a serious part of recent debates. I tend to shed light on both approaches and share my honest views.

To begin with, one group of commentators aruge that giving them the liberty to choose everyday matters make children selfish. Moreover, they think that this would runs counter to their ability of feeling empathy for others and make them emotionless person. Furthermore, they also believed that this would become impediment on their way of success. To exemplify, an article by BBC reveals giving more freedom to children is the most pressed reason behind why society is becoming selfish.

In contrast, the commentators of other group believes that giving freedom to children to make their own choices is very important for their future planning. They reckon if we do not let them choose what the like, they would not able to make any serious decision and they would loss the ability of making decision. Furthermore, they thinks we should allow them to express their choices this would encourage their ability to make right decision. To illustrates, a recent survey by dawn figures out that freedom to express choices is the key factor that helps studeint planning future and allow them to decide their goals.

In my view, I personally think that the second group of commentators thought is more realistic as decision making plays a significant role in our lives. In future, children can only able to make good decision if their mind is capable of making choices, otherwise they do something wrong.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear preference for children making choices, particularly in the final paragraph. The response also gives reasons for each position, such as the concern that freedom may reduce empathy and the claim that decision-making helps children plan for the future. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the first view relies on a broad claim about selfishness, and the second does not explain how everyday choices build sound judgement. The examples attributed to the BBC and Dawn are mentioned but not described or connected convincingly to the claims. Develop each side with a specific, plausible example and explain the reasoning behind it; also make your own position clearer earlier and sustain it through the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a concluding opinion. Transitions such as “To begin with” and “In contrast” help signal the change in perspective, and the ideas generally follow a sensible order. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent overall arrangement and shows some movement towards more flexible organisation. However, linking is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “Furthermore” and “Moreover,” while the opening sentence’s “while” does not clearly connect the two positions. References such as “they” and “this” can also be unclear because several groups or ideas are mentioned. Use a wider range of natural links and make the subject of each reference explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “liberty,” “empathy,” “future planning,” and “decision making,” and the reader can generally understand the intended ideas. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “plays a significant role.” However, the range is limited by repeated use of “freedom,” “choices,” and “decision,” and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the writing awkward: “a selfish person of society,” “pressed reason,” and “impediment on their way of success.” Spelling errors such as “eveyday,” “aruge,” and “studeint” are noticeable. Build a bank of natural collocations for this topic, check spelling carefully, and choose simpler accurate expressions when unsure.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, complex sentences, including conditional ideas such as “if we do not let them choose…” This shows some effort to vary sentence forms. However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “giving… matters make children selfish” needs subject–verb agreement, while “they would not able” is missing a verb and “they would loss” uses the wrong verb form. The opening also begins with a comma-separated clause and a lower-case “while” sentence. Practise checking each sentence for a clear subject and finite verb, then review agreement and conditional forms.

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