Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

While some individuals argue that children who are independent to make their own descisions in daily life will results in the society of selfish people, the other side believes that this step is more significant as it helps them to make descion on the things that affect them. In this essay I will discuss both views and give my perspective.

The main justification about those people who thinks that allowing children to make their own choices will leads to a self obsessed society, is that they are more curious about the upcomming generation. If a new society do whatever they wants, them it leads to the unbalance lifestyle. Additionally, now a days, digital media have more influence on children. This may damages the culture and traditions of a society as the food, clothes and other entertainment things from other culture are introduced. Then there will be a time when that society's culture vanished. For instance, western world has a lot of influence in eastern society specifically on younger generation, so if kids make their own descion in adaptiong that culture, it directly leads to a society where every individual follow his/her choice and the original tradition will be disturb.

Conversly, there is majority of people who are in against of this descision as they believe that younger people can make more better descisions for themselves than anyone else. Lets say, if a child is builtup in a society where he/she is alergic to some specific food or activities that leads to health ilness, they can easily make their own choice according to the interest so that they are not affected by those matters.

Concluding all thoughts, my perspective is that allowing children to have their own wishes will definitly leads to the society where everyone thinks about their own benifits as from childhood they builtup in those who do what is better for themselves rather than thinking about the surrounding.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear opinion in the conclusion: you argue that children’s freedom may encourage self-interest. The discussion of cultural influence and the example of Western culture affecting younger people are relevant, but the link between choosing food, clothes or entertainment and becoming selfish is asserted rather than explained. The opposing view is less fully developed: the allergy example shows why a child may need to make a health-related choice, but it does not explain more broadly how decision-making benefits children. The introduction also promises to discuss both sides, while the conclusion mainly repeats your position. To strengthen the response, explain how everyday choices can build responsibility, and distinguish reasonable independence from selfishness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Sequencing is generally clear, and signposts such as “Additionally,” “Conversely,” and “Concluding all thoughts” help show the direction of the argument. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “If a new society do whatever they wants, them it leads to the unbalance lifestyle” is difficult to follow, and the connection between digital media, cultural change and selfishness needs clearer explanation. The second viewpoint receives only a short paragraph, so the discussion feels uneven. Use clearer references and develop each paragraph around one main claim, followed by explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “self-obsessed,” “digital media,” “culture and traditions,” and “allergic,” which helps communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form and collocation errors make the writing less precise, such as “descisions,” “upcomming,” “adapting that culture,” and “health ilness.” Some expressions are also unnatural, including “in against of this decision” and “unbalance lifestyle.” These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall argument, but they are noticeable and sometimes make individual sentences harder to interpret. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, especially for discussing independence, cultural influence and personal responsibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If a child is built up in a society…” and a relative clause in “activities that leads to health illness.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement and verb forms recur. For example, “children … will results” should use a base verb after “will,” while “a new society do whatever they wants” has inconsistent subject–verb agreement. In “This may damages,” the modal should be followed by the base form. Articles and sentence construction also need attention, as in “leads to the unbalance lifestyle.” Practise checking each clause for its subject and verb, and use shorter sentences when a longer structure becomes difficult to control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.