Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This is an ongoing topic these days that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters like food, clothes and entertainment. While, many people argue that it is a essential for children to make decisions on that matters that affected them. In this essay I will discuss the both views before presenting my own opinion.

First and foremost, allowing children to make their own decisions on everyday matters make them who only prefer himself and think only about their own wishes. It can create many drawbecks, they can become selfish and only think their perosperity and progress. Societies are depended on the people who play pivotal role in the development of society. Furthermore, these type of children can be become negative person who can be harmful for others because these children develop the sense of individualism. however, the societies are depended on matual understanding.

On the other hand, many people argue that it is essential for them to make decisions only those matters that are affected them. This approach pervent them to involving any violent encidence. Moreover, children should focus on himself rather then making decisions for others, they don't know them and they can't understand the situation proper. Therefore, they children only focus on that matters that are significant for their life. There is also another crucial factor that this approach develop the sense of privacy they become litrate about privacy and will not violate other private life.

In conclusion, although making their own decision make them who only think about their wishes, it develop the sene of private life. In my opinion striking a balance between both is better of the society and personal life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position, especially in the conclusion where you recommend “striking a balance.” The response also stays focused on children’s choices and their possible effects. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the first view is linked to selfishness and individualism, while the second is connected to privacy and avoiding involvement in others’ decisions, but these claims are not clearly explained or supported with relevant examples. Your opinion is also introduced mainly at the end, so the reader has little explanation of what a balanced approach would involve. To strengthen the response, explain the benefits and risks of each view with specific examples, then state your position clearly and consistently.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. “First and foremost” and “On the other hand” help signal the change in viewpoint. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several claims are placed together without clear explanation of how they connect. For example, the second body paragraph moves from avoiding violent incidents to focusing on oneself and then to privacy. Some linking is also mechanical or unclear, as in “Furthermore” and “Therefore,” and the reference in “these type of children” is imprecise. Organise each paragraph around one main point, explain it step by step, and use linking expressions only where they show a genuine relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some topic-appropriate and less common vocabulary, including “pivotal role,” “individualism,” “mutual understanding,” and “privacy.” These choices show an effort to discuss social consequences rather than relying only on basic terms. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices, collocations, and spelling errors make parts of the argument difficult to understand. Examples include “drawbecks,” “perosperity,” “violent encidence,” and “litrate”; phrases such as “make them who only prefer himself” are also not natural English. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling, and choose simpler wording when unsure. More precise vocabulary would help you express the intended ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, including a contrastive opening with “While” and a concluding “although” clause. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in complex sentences, and errors sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. For example, “allowing children to make their own decisions … make them” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “it is a essential” has an article error. In “matters that are affected them,” the clause structure is faulty, and “they children” contains an unnecessary subject. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, including the lowercase “however” after a full stop. Practise accurate clause construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation before adding more complex forms.

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