Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Allowing children to make their own choices in everyday matters, such as clothing, food, and entrtainment, is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their wishes. This can happen as a child's personality is shaped according to how they are treated by the people around them. At a younger age, when a child is consistently provided choices for evey small matter, this can lead to a sense of entitlement in even larger matters. Such children grow up to be adults with personality involving selfishness or even narcissism. They do not learn to compromise and think that their needs matter the most. They may not feel empathy towards the people in their surroundings because they never learnt to.

On the other hand, the view that children should be allowed to make decisions about matters that affect them, is also a great view. This approach is really beneficial in shaping an individual's personality. This allows children to develop a sense of independent decision making. As the habits and brain patterns develop quicker at a younger age and get more permanent when the child grows older, these positive skills and habits can get stronger at adulthood, protecting one from being influenced by bad company. It is seen that children with a sense of independent thinking tend to have more self-confidence and are great in their academics and career. Whatever, good or bad, they see in their surroundings, they think independently whether they need to contribute in that or not. Rather than, wanting to join or do what most of the people are doing.

I think there should be a balanced approach towards children upbringing. they should be given choices but also be exposed to the fact that when the choice is not available. Every aporoach has pros and cons. Parents and other people should keep this in mind that they should focus on the positive aspects of every approach, allowing a child to develop a strong mindset and personality.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response discusses both views and gives a clear personal position: children should have choices, but within a balanced approach. The first view is supported with a cause-and-effect explanation about entitlement, selfishness and empathy, while the second is linked to independence and confidence. These are relevant points, but some claims are broad or insufficiently explained—for example, the assertion that independent children are “great in their academics and career” is not supported with a specific example. The conclusion also introduces balance without explaining how parents might set limits while still involving children in decisions. Develop this practical distinction and support key claims more precisely to address all parts more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement: it presents one view, contrasts it with the other, and ends with the writer’s opinion. Paragraphing helps the reader follow this structure, and signposts such as “On the other hand” make the shift clear. However, some links between ideas are mechanical or unclear. In the second body paragraph, the move from independent decision-making to brain development, then to academic and career success, is not fully explained. The final paragraph is also less connected to the preceding discussion, and “Whatever, good or bad” and “Rather than” create awkward transitions. Use clearer references and explain how each supporting point follows from the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for discussing parenting and personal development, including “sense of entitlement,” “compromise,” “empathy,” “independent decision making” and “self-confidence.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and the writer attempts some less common terms such as “narcissism.” At times, however, word choice and collocation are imprecise: “personality involving selfishness,” “habits and brain patterns develop quicker,” and “contribute in that” do not sound natural in context. Spelling errors such as “entrtainment,” “evey” and “aporoach” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and proofread carefully, while retaining the useful topic-specific vocabulary already present.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex forms, including conditional and subordinate clauses, as in “when a child is consistently provided choices… this can lead to…” and “because they never learnt to.” Most meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur. The sentence “I think there should be a balanced approach towards children upbringing” needs a possessive form, and “when the choice is not available” is an incomplete or unclear clause in this context. The sentence beginning “Whatever, good or bad” is also structurally awkward, while “Rather than, wanting…” is a fragment. Review sentence boundaries, possessives and clause construction, and revise fragments into complete sentences to improve control.

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