Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the view of people that belif allowing children to take decsion of their own choices on everday matters for instance of everyday routine like food clothes and others is can be result in a society of individuals tho only known to think just own their wishes while in the other hand we see that people believe that it is important for children to tae their own decision to own matters which impact them.

Firstly we know those who believe which allowing children to own their own choices might be rseults only their own wishes by that the chldren can be egoist to their choices over the daily routine it also can be result in the that such kinds of children may be the results where they will not able to respect thier elders because when they do or make thier own choise in such kind than the results come to that such kind children are be of thier own not to listen anyone.

On the other hand people believe that it is important that chilideren should make decision about their own to choices daily routine like foods and clothings and others that affect them.

But in my ways of thinks the children must not choices own their own such kind of decsion are being taken by their parents when they are unable to choices and it still left over them to choices for them because it the children arecome to know their value in their life.

In conculsion that both are important o make descsion on thier choices but its batter to left this choices to their elders one by which to know to respect them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You attempt to discuss both views and give your own position: you describe the concern that children may become self-centred, then mention the view that they should decide matters affecting them, and conclude that parents should make choices for them. However, the second view is only repeated rather than explained, and your own position is difficult to follow: “the children must not choices own their own” is followed by the unclear idea that they should “know their value in their life.” The reasons about respecting elders are also asserted without a relevant example or further support. To improve, explain the benefits of children making age-appropriate decisions, develop your concern about excessive choice, and state a consistent position with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Basic signposting such as “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers identify these sections. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: the first body paragraph repeats the idea of children becoming self-focused without clearly developing it, while the paragraph on the opposing view offers almost no explanation. Several sentences are difficult to follow because ideas are joined in long, unclear sequences, and the conclusion largely repeats the opinion rather than drawing the discussion together. Use one clear main point per paragraph, connect each reason to its consequence, and make references such as “this” or “such kind” more precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, particularly around “choices,” “children,” and “own,” which limits precision when discussing the two positions. Some relevant topic language appears, including “everyday matters,” “daily routine,” and “respect,” but several expressions are difficult to understand or are not used naturally, such as “egoist to their choices” and “the results come to.” Frequent spelling errors, including “belif,” “decsion,” and “conculsion,” also make the message harder to read. Build a small set of accurate phrases for this topic and check spelling and word forms carefully. More precise alternatives would help you explain ideas such as independence, self-centred behaviour, and parental guidance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some longer sentences and use basic linking structures, but control of sentence formation is weak. Errors are frequent and sometimes obscure meaning, as in “allowing children to take decsion … is can be result” and “the children must not choices own their own.” Verb forms, sentence structure, and agreement need particular attention; for example, “they will not able to respect” is missing a necessary verb form, and several clauses are joined without clear grammatical relationships. The response relies heavily on similar simple patterns and does not yet show reliable control of complex sentences. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, then combine them using accurate clauses such as “because” or “although.” Check each sentence for a subject, a correctly formed verb, and clear punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.