Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people think that parent should allow their child to work own their own in regular life. In result, an individual could be responsible while few argue that parent should make decision about their child's future and do that could be better for kids. In my opinion, an individual should be allowed to do something that he should want and make decision about his life own his own because that kind of person could do something special in future.

A group in society has believe that every human has right about his/her life to make choice about his/her daily life and also has independency to do what they want to become in future. These kind of persons could be more successful in their life. For instances, Mark zuckerbureg, developer of facebook/twitter is a complete failure in his school life but he has choice to be ordinary and fit in this society and also has decision to be extraordinary and do what he want and in the age of 14 he develope one of main applications of social media. Another example is that Einstein, the world's biggest scientist is also a ordinary student but he has freedom and because of this he would become a extraordinary man.

But few people think that parents should be take care of their child in daily life and also select passion for them for their future. They believe that kids are innocent and inexperienced. They could select something wrong which is not good for their future. For example, a country like Pakistan that conisder poor, in this region if child would has freedom, he will be involve in crime and wrong activities easily so, parent should take care about them atleast for 20 years.

In conclusion, some people think that parent should take care about their child and make decision for their future but in my point of view, I strongly believe that children should allow to do what they want and select profession on the basis of what they like.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a clear preference for children making choices, especially in the introduction and conclusion. The discussion of parental guidance also gives a relevant reason—that children may be inexperienced—and the Pakistan example attempts to illustrate possible risks. However, the response only partially develops the task: it focuses heavily on future success and career choice, while the prompt specifically asks about everyday decisions such as food, clothing and entertainment. The Zuckerberg and Einstein examples are asserted rather than clearly connected to everyday decision-making, and some claims are difficult to follow. To strengthen the response, explain both views in relation to the examples in the question and develop your own position with more directly relevant reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main position, and transitions such as “But” and “In conclusion” signal changes in direction. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. The first supporting paragraph moves from general rights to Zuckerberg and Einstein without clearly explaining how these examples prove the value of children choosing everyday matters. Linking phrases are sometimes repetitive or awkward, and references such as “these kind of persons” are not always clear. Improve cohesion by organising each paragraph around one main claim, then explaining and illustrating it in a logical sequence, with clearer links between the examples and the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “freedom,” “inexperienced,” “future,” and “profession,” and the reader can generally identify your intended ideas. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning unclear. Examples include “work own their own,” “has independency,” “select passion,” and “ordinary student.” Spelling errors such as “conisder,” “develope,” and “atleast” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of expressions for decision-making and parental guidance, and check spelling and word forms carefully. Using familiar vocabulary accurately would make your argument clearer than relying on phrases whose meaning is uncertain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses with “because” and “which,” and the overall message is usually recoverable. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences often contain several errors. For example, “parent should be take care” has an incorrect verb form, while “These kind of persons could be more successful” has a number-agreement error. In “if child would has freedom,” the conditional structure and verb form are faulty. Articles, plurals and subject–verb agreement also need attention, as in “an ordinary student” and “parents should make decision.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and one subordinate clause before combining several ideas.

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