Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the modern epoch of ever changing world, some people are of the opinion that if children are allowed to make their everyday choices on different matters on their own, they are more likely to become selfish and will think individually rather than collectively. On the other side, individuals are of the fact that children must have freedom to make their own life decisions.

To commence with, some part of the society believes that allowing children to make their decisions on thier own will have devastating consequences on the society. As they solely ponder about their wills, they will surely ignore the collectivity of the society. In everyday matters of children, there must be someone who can guide them to the right path. Additionally, they may become selfish and choose the wrong way which will have demerits for them. This approach ends the tolerance in them such as to accept the opinions of the others.To illustrate this, teenagers might choose unhealthy food or harmful entertainment that can spoil their health and character which would be a major disadvantage for them.

Conversely, the other side of the society believe that children must have the right to make their own choices. It is the major right for every citizen to have his own freedom without the interference of the other. Matters that are directly related to them must have their own part in it to make the decisions about them. It boosts the confidence in them and brings positive changes in their behaviour. For instance, the children who make their own life choices have a large taste in several things. This make them understand their ownselves.

In conclusion, while it is essential for children to have their own choices there must be some guidance for them to think for everybody. I am of the opinion that children must be encouraged to accept the others opinion as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear overall position: children should have choices, but also learn to consider others. The first body paragraph explains concerns about selfishness and gives a relevant example of unhealthy food or harmful entertainment. The second identifies confidence and personal development as benefits of choice. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for example, “This make them understand their ownselves” does not clarify what children learn, and the claim that freedom is a “major right” needs a clearer link to everyday decisions. Develop each main idea with a specific explanation or example, and make your own view more explicit throughout the essay, not only in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The contrast between the positions is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To commence with,” “Conversely,” and “In conclusion” help readers navigate the discussion. This meets the lower-band expectations securely and shows some ability to organise ideas clearly. To make progression more consistently smooth, reduce formulaic transitions and connect each supporting sentence more directly to the point before it. For instance, the move from children choosing harmful entertainment to “This approach ends the tolerance” is abrupt, and “This make them understand…” does not clearly refer back to a specific idea. Clearer referencing and links would strengthen cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “collectivity,” “interference,” “tolerance,” and “devastating consequences.” However, several choices are unnatural or imprecise, which limits clarity and control: “In the modern epoch of ever changing world,” “think individually,” and “have a large taste in several things” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling and word-form slips, such as “thier” and “ownselves.” The meaning is generally recoverable, but the noticeable awkward collocations and repeated reliance on broad terms such as “matters” and “choices” keep the vocabulary from being more flexible. Prefer precise, natural phrases and check spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional opening (“if children are allowed…”) and a relative clause (“which would be a major disadvantage for them”). Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the other side of the society believe” needs subject–verb agreement, while “This make them understand” should use a singular verb. The sentence beginning “As they solely ponder…” is a fragment, and “there must be someone who can guide them” shifts from the general discussion to an unclear reference. Punctuation also needs attention, particularly the missing space after the full stop in “others.To illustrate.” Review agreement, complete sentence structure, and punctuation while continuing to use varied sentence patterns.

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