Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Most of the people believe on that to allowing their childern to make their own choise in their daily matters such as what they want towear as clothes and aslo as well as what they want to eat in food in their daily life.Those peole think that to attian chirdren their own individual results what they want to do in thier individuals life they think about their own wishes but on the other hand side most of the parents think that it is importnat to childern to make decisions in their own life and aslo get help from their parents or elders

In my opinion childern should have to make their dailylife mattersmby their own such as what they want to eat or wear and what they have to play

On the other hand side childern should have to have their life futher decision they have to discuss with their parents and elders such decisions what they want to study in which subject is that easy for them or not

Most ofr the students or childern do not study those subjects who they want to study and then they face too much difficulties

i have to give my own example that i want to study in medical but unfortunattly

my admission in medical is not done because of the medical seats are full

but i want to study in good institude and then i got admission in Arts and i also have to face to much difficulties in my college life

so i belive on that parents should have to discuss with thier child what they want to do in thier futher life it will be easy for both as parents and as well as childerns

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and give a personal position: you support children making everyday choices, while recommending discussion with parents about future study decisions. The example about wanting to study medicine but entering an arts programme is relevant and helps explain why parental discussion may matter. However, the two views are not explored in balanced detail. The concern that children may become self-centred is mentioned, but its reasoning is unclear, and the benefits of children making choices are asserted rather than explained. Your position also shifts from everyday decisions to education and future plans without fully clarifying the distinction. Develop each view with a clear reason and example, then state more explicitly how children’s independence can be balanced with parental guidance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic overall sequence: you introduce the contrasting views, state your opinion, discuss future decisions, and give a personal example. The contrast markers “but” and “On the other hand” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the response is largely presented as one continuous block, and several points are repeated, especially the recommendation to discuss decisions with parents. Some links are unclear: the opening moves from everyday choices to “individual results” without explaining the connection, while the example is broken into several short lines and does not clearly lead back to the main argument. Use separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, and make each paragraph develop one central point with clear references and transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “decisions,” “individual,” “subjects,” and “difficulties,” so the reader can identify the main topic. However, the range is limited and many phrases are repeated, such as “make decisions” and “what they want.” Several word choices and collocations make meaning less clear, including “attain children their own individual results” and “study in good institute.” Frequent spelling errors—such as “childern,” “choise,” “unfortunattly,” and “institude”—also distract the reader. Aim for accurate, natural phrases rather than longer constructions: for example, describe children as becoming “self-centred,” and say that they should “choose what to eat or wear.” Proofreading spelling and learning common collocations would make your ideas easier to understand.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example when contrasting parents’ views and when explaining your educational experience. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty. The opening sentence has an unclear construction (“believe on that to allowing”), while “it is importnat to childern to make decisions” lacks a clear grammatical pattern. Errors also occur in verb forms and sentence boundaries, as in “my admission in medical is not done because of the medical seats are full.” Punctuation is inconsistent, with long run-on passages and missing full stops. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using “because,” “although,” or “while,” checking verb forms, articles, and punctuation.

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