Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is an ongoing topic these days that allowing children to make their own choices everyday matters and is likely to outcome of individualism in a society. Other people argue that it is essential for children to make decisions only that matters which are affect them. In this essay I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.

First and foremost, there are many individuals who believe that allowing children to make their own choices on daily matter such as food, clothes and entertainment. This will make them selfish they will only care about their own desires. It makes children arrogant and disrespectful. Furthermore, the ability of helping and collaborating will not develop in their personality and eventually they will become negative person of a society. For a welfare society it is essential that their citizen are helpful and play a active role in a society developments.

On the other hand, many people argue that it is important for children to make only those decision that relate to them. In their childhood if they learn to make their own choices on everyday matter that will make them a mature person. Moreover, their confidence will also be boost and they learn to take decision, it will be beneficial for their future. Meanwhile, these children will also learn how to maintain privacy and don't get involve in others issues and that will save them from any conflicts.

In conclusion, although allowing children to take their own decision has many positive aspects, it has numerous complications. In opinion, I believe maintain a balance between both aspect will be a preferable approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and give a clear final preference for balance, which is relevant to the question. However, the discussion is only partially developed: the first view is supported mainly by claims that children may become “selfish,” “arrogant and disrespectful,” while the second lists possible benefits such as maturity and confidence without explaining how these develop or giving a specific example. The phrase “make decisions only that matters which are affect them” also blurs the distinction between everyday choices and decisions that affect children. The response contains 243 words, so it is 7 words below the required minimum; the 26 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop each view with clearer reasoning and an example, and explain what a balanced approach would involve.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Transitions such as “First and foremost,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, the first body paragraph moves from selfishness to social development without showing the link, and the second shifts from confidence to privacy and avoiding conflict. Some linking is mechanical, and the conclusion introduces balance without connecting it to the preceding arguments. Use clearer topic sentences and explain how each supporting point relates to the paragraph’s main idea; then make the conclusion follow directly from that reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “individualism,” “collaborating,” “mature,” and “confidence,” and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, which makes parts of the response awkward: “likely to outcome of individualism,” “negative person of a society,” and “a active role in a society developments.” Repetition of “make their own choices” and “everyday matter” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise phrases and check word forms and collocations, especially when expressing cause and effect. For instance, describe a possible social outcome directly rather than using the unclear phrase “likely to outcome.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use subordinate clauses, for example, “although allowing children to take their own decision has many positive aspects.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make several sentences difficult to follow. In “This will make them selfish they will only care about their own desires,” two clauses are joined without suitable punctuation or a connector. Other examples include “their confidence will also be boost,” “those decision that relate to them,” and “I believe maintain a balance.” There are also recurring problems with articles, agreement, plurals, and verb forms. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea, then add subordinate clauses and check that each clause has a complete verb.

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